Workin' It

Old People in the News

2009-01-13T16:46:00.000-08:00

I know it's been a while since I've posted, but a few inspiring oldsters have convinced me to write up an entry. 107-year-old Wang Guiying is currently in the market for a husband, her first; I wish her the best -- though I hate to have that kind of competition out there, now that I'm single myself. Also, a belated congratulations to now 107-year-old Ann Nixon Cooper, who made a splash during the recent presidential election as a serious Obama supporter. She will not be attending the inauguration, but will watch it on her TV, which she usually reserves for A Price is Right viewings.

I'll post job-related stuff soon, although I fear, in this dire economy, it won't be very upbeat. Still, I hope everyone's having a good 2009 so far!

Interview with Santa Claus

2008-08-04T19:09:00.000-07:00

Santa Claus may be the only man who holds it, but being Santa Claus is a job, and a big one at that. If you'd want to follow his comings and goings, you can check up with him at his blog.

1. Can you break down the criteria for ending up on the naughty and nice lists? (Not that I'm trying to game the system, but just to clear up any gray area.) While there is a fairly complex algorithm that we apply in compiling the official list, it really just boils down to the basics here: Do you treat others as you would treat yourself? Do you obey and honor your parents? Said differently, we apply the basic tenets and values of Judeo-Christian tradition.

2. How *do* you visit all those homes on a single night? The key is North Pole Time. I am not the right person to explain exactly how it works, it is far too technical for me... but I can say that because we sit at the junction of all the time zones, there are some unique capabilities we have realized in moving easily between time zones. That in and of itself is not all that remarkable. But there is something magical about how we can travel within a time zone and return to the North Pole - no matter how long we have been gone - within the same hour we left as long as we arrive and depart from the Launch pad. The Launch pad is directly on the true North Pole. Time doesn't stop so much as it "re-sets." It is this capability that we leverage to deliver to 302M homes in a 24 hour period. If you want to know how we determine how many homes, see my December 20, 2007 post.

3. How is global warming affecting the your work, if at all? Global warming is an issue that we should not take lightly; however, we have been fortunate that it has not yet affected our work in a negative manner. While it is questionable whether or not human activity is the prime contributor to the current warming trend, I believe we should operate under the assumption that it is. As such, we have made changes to become a "greener" operation. Every year we manufacture or procure several billion toys that are then distributed worldwide. It is a huge challenge to minimize the impact of those operations on the environment but it is a challenge that we are not shying away from. We are proud of the progress we have made but we are not satisified. We believe we can do more. We have set some ambitious goals and we will not rest until we meet or exceed those goals. Check out a few factoids about what we have done... or are planning on doing... to minimize our impact on the environment:

*Our worldwide distribution and business travel produces NO greenhouse gases thanks to our reindeer-powered sleighs. The sleighs' on-board electronics are all powered by solar cells.

*Our company-owned manufacturing and office facilities are all powered by wind-generated energy. Our facilities are all equipped with windmills that produce enough energy to not only offset our own usage but to also put surplus energy back into the grid.

*All of our third party partners must reduce their greenhouse gas emissions and energy usage by 10% year over year for the next 10 years. Failure to do so will result in the cancellation of their contracts.

*We currently re-plant one tree for every Christmas tree we cut for use at the North Pole and/or for delivery. Our goal is to re-plant 3 trees for each Christmas Tree by 2010.

*We recycle every Christmas tree we use on North Pole Inc. property.

*We are actively sponsoring a campaign to eliminate artificial Christmas trees. While on the surface they may appear to be more environmentally friendly, 90% of those "trees" end up in landfills within 10 years.

*We recycle or re-use 70+% of our waste from toy production every year. Our goal is to be at 90+% by 2010 and at 100% by 2015.

*Our goal is to reduce waste from our toy production by 10% year over year.

*We are actively lobbying toy manufacturers to provide recycling programs for toys and batteries. By 2012, it will be a requirement for any manufacturer wishing to supply the North Pole operations.

*You can learn more about what we are doing at our website.

4. Is becoming Santa something anyone can aspire to, or do you have to be born to it? How about being an elf? There is only one Santa. At least until I pass. I was born "Santa." I don't claim to have any magical powers despite what some of the storybooks, movies, and fairy tales may lead you to believe. The only thing possibly magical about me is the fact that I'm several hundred years old and still in sound physical and mental shape. Candidly, I don't know how or why I have been blessed with such a long life and good health. Some have speculated it is the fact that Iive at the North Pole, in the middle of some 'timeless vortex'. Others have speculated that it is God's reward for living a life of giving. I don't know... I am just thankful. Assuming I may pass someday, I have set up a perpetual trust that will allow the North Pole Inc. operations to continue. Someone will be named CEO to succeed me and that person will perform the role I have today, but Santa is my name, not a title. So whoever replaces me will not, at least technically, be "Santa."

As far as being an elf, you cannot aspire to be an elf. Elves are a race. You have to be born an elf just like you are born to be Caucasian or Asian or any other race. But if you are referring to being a toy craftsman at North Pole Inc., yes, you can aspire to that. We are an equal opportunity employer. As long as you have mastered the craft of toy building, you can work at the North Pole.

5. With today's modern electronics, do you find you have to outsource some of the work, or can the elves still make everything in their workshop? We do outsource quite heavily. And have done so for a number of years indirectly in that we have contracted major manufacturers to build product on our behalf. We don't build that Nintendo Wii you got last Christmas.... we contracted with Nintendo to build it for us in mass quantities. Every year I spend much of my "off-season" negotiating rates & product availability with various manufacturers of electronics and other toys for all of the items we anticipate will have the greatest demand in the upcoming Christmas season. This past year, we established more direct outsource operations across India and China. It was not a case of laying off anyone -- all of our current employees remained in their jobs -- but rather a case of increasing capacity that we simply could not add at the North Pole due to physical constraints. Even so, it did create a lot of angst and led to a strike by the elves' union. Fortunately, we were able to resolve the dispute and the elves were back to work in time to not jeopardize the Christmas season.

6. I've never quite understood the economics of the magic of Christmas. I mean, isn't it expensive to provide gifts for all those kids? Where does the money come from for the labor, materials, and transportation? We are a non-profit operation. Virtually all of the funds come from my personal investments, though a few major corporations do donate goods and labor. My father was an exiled king. Before I was born, he had ruled a kingdom that stretches across much of what is now Germany. Soon after my mother became pregnant with me, my father's younger brother, who had been the next in line for the throne, conspired with a neighboring king to overthrow my father. Fearing for the life of my mother and me, my father fled to Norway. Despite fleeing, he remained extremely wealthy. It was my father that started the tradition. Even though we remained wealthy, we lived like paupers and my father gave away bags gold anonymously to many of our neighbors every Christmas Eve. I was well into my adult years before I even knew about the family fortune, my father's past, or his anonymous generosity. After he passed and I inherited the family fortune, I set about an even grander vision of genorisity. Having stumbled onto the flying reindeer and subsequently being introduced to the elves earlier in my life, I saw possibilities for expanding the scope of our giving to a scale that my father never dreamed possible during his lifetime.

7. How do you get down those chimneys? I just dive in. I have to stay in shape to be able to dive and catch myself at the bottom so I maintain a regular running and weight-lifting regimine. I dive head first because it is the easiest way to see any obstacles, including still smoldering coals. It is important to note that my scout team checks out the chimneys ahead of time so I know which ones are safe to dive into and which ones require me to enter the house by some other means. Even with the scouting team's work, I have been stuck more times that I care to admit. We carry retrieval equipment for those times. Please note to the children that read this.... It is IMPERATIVE that you NOT try chimney diving or any other type of chimney entry. Such activities are only for trained professionals.

8. If you couldn't do what you do, what would be your second job choice? My second job choice would be to be a school teacher. If that weren't possible, I'd want to be a coach.

Linky Wednesday

2008-07-31T14:55:00.000-07:00

This article in the New York Times about the strange distinctions between young adult and adult novels has been much-commented upon.

CNN Money gives us a list of locations where the job growth has been considerable. Road trip to Tooele County, Utah, anyone?

Is plastic surgery the next must-have career tool?

Interview with a Phone Sex Worker

2008-07-28T12:21:00.000-07:00

In a return to a once weekly feature, I give you the following interview with A.K., who has her own blog over at Almost Chantelle. Enjoy!

1. How exactly did you get into this line of work, and what made you choose it?

When I started, I was working as a writer for a media company, writing daily on their various blogs from home. The problem was, they were a relatively new company and weren't exactly amazing at paying! It could take three months for an invoice to be answered, and in the intervening period I needed some way of bringing in money. Writing from home had made me lazy and I didn't want to go into an office, and I wanted something I could fit around my fiction writing, too. The idea just popped into my head. Work from home, choose your own hours, all you need is a phone line. And a dirty mind! It just seemed easy and being as there aren't any organised shift patterns, I could fit it in around anything and work any time of day or night.

I also liked the creative aspect; as a writer, I found the idea of inventing a "character" really appealing.

2. Is there some kind of an audition process? If there isn't, how can your employer know if you've got the chops for it?

There isn't for the company I work for. It was just send in the form, get your login details and... answer calls. There is a great online support forum where you can get tips and advice from seasoned girls. I suppose the people that don't have the guts for it will stop pretty quickly and I don't think it costs much to set a girl up - with calls being charged at £1.50 a minute, if she does ONE ten minute call, they're in profit easily. So it's worth the risk.

3. Is there any consistency to the kind of men who call you, as far as age, profession, marital status?

None whatsoever. I've talked to men who can't string a sentence together and men who, upon hearing I'm something of a history fanatic, want to chat in depth about that. I once spent an hour discussing the effects of Philip of Spain on Mary Tudor... that's my idea of a job!

I have noticed the men that become "regulars" tend to be slightly older, over 35. They're more interested in developing a relationship with "you" (well, your character). Younger guys want a... ahem... quick release.

4. Can you describe a typical call?

There is no typical call, everyone is different, right down to the terminology used. But most guys just want a graphic description of you giving them oral sex... it tends to last five minutes, then they hang up. These calls are the most regular, but that only means one or two in an eight-hour work cycle - it's all so varied.

5. What are some of the weirder requests you've gotten? Do you ever hang up feeling kind of disgusted?

One guy asked if I could go outside in my garden, find snails, and then listen to me crushing them with a stiletto - I have NO idea what that was about. I couldn't bring myself to do it so I got egg shells out of the bin instead. And as for hanging up - I'd say I hang up on one out of every five calls. It's not really disgust - this job prepares you for it all - it's more the manner of the person, the way they speak. Some I just can't stand the idea of talking to even if I earn a lot of money of their call, so I hang up.

6. What kind personality traits and skills does a phone sex worker need?

An open mind, an imagination and the ability to quell their bullshit-o-meter. When the hundredth guy says "I'm CEO of AOL" you just have to say "wow, really, I'm so impressed" and quell your inner laughter.

7. Do you get paid based on how long you keep callers on the phone?

Yep, and the longer you do, the more the money goes up. Seven minutes is the bonus time - when you go over that, you're in the excellent money.

8. How many jobs have you held in your life?

Five. I was a checkout operative while I was at school, then I did some office shifts on a gap year, then the blogging job, the sex line, and now I work for myself.

Gen Y and the workplace

2008-07-25T18:40:00.000-07:00

There have been a spate of news articles in the last few years about how the 70+ million members of Generation Y is going to change the workforce with their can-doism, computer savvy, and desire for work-life balance. While I don't doubt that each generation is somewhat different from the last in terms of its desires and expectations (I definitely find a lot of baby boomers' work experiences and expectations hard to relate to) I'm also extremely skeptical of articles about trends which don't have any data to back them up. I accept that there are a lot of people in their early twenties entering the workforce, and a lot of baby boomers on the verge of retirement, and that means companies are really going to need to attract these young workers. But are they going to get the shorter hours, more interesting and meaningful work, and more casual atmosphere that they reportedly want in the workplace -- indeed, the very things that everyone wants? I hope so, for all our sakes. But here are my predictions for the next ten or twenty years, based on gut instinct and reading a bunch of these articles:

1. It's all going to depend on the economy. Sure, when the economy's going good and the unemployment rate is low, employers have to be a lot more flexible in the war for talent. I remember all too well the overblown salaries, flexible schedules and snack cabinets of the dot com era. Good times. But the fact is, when the going gets tough, and we're all fighting each other over some 28K entry-level job that we have to dumb down our resumes for, your request to take your dog to work or to have Wednesdays off for your juggling group will no longer be accomodated.

2. The workplace will become more casual. In many industries people's home and work wear will completely blend. However, companies that have international clients will still be compelled to dress *somewhat* professionally.

3. Multi-tasking will become the norm. Yes, the time will come when texting someone during a meeting will no longer be considered rude, but perfectly acceptable. (Does anyone remember when call waiting was considered rude? I do.) Everyone will check Facebook and IM their friends during work (if they don't already) and companies will abandon their efforts to try to stop this.

4. If Gen Y members want to enter truly desirable professions (such as in the entertainment industry) they're just going to have to buckle down and work the crazy hours and wreck their personal lives like everybody else. Because if they're not willing, someone else their age certainly is.

5. Workers will not be judged as harshly for wanting to take a sabbatical or change their schedule to accomodate some other outside interest. But know this: those who sacrifice everything for work will still get ahead faster. Which is only fair.

6. By the time the Gen-Yers are in their thirties, they'll have tempered their expectations of what they're likely to get out of work, just like everybody else. Only the lucky ones will enjoy work so fulfilling they'd do it happily for free. Everyone else will do work they sometimes like and often don't, and sometimes suspect is utterly pointless. Because burgers will still have to get flipped, and ad copy will still have to get written, and funds will still have to get hedged. They will have to try to squeeze some meaning out of that.

Have a great weekend, everybody! Come back Monday for my Q&A with a phone sex worker. Perverts welcome!

Linky Wednesday

2008-07-23T22:25:00.000-07:00

Young men who like to steal books: remember, when you're stealing Bukowski from your local used bookstore, you are in no sense sticking it to the man.

Mental health officials are deciding whether to include compulsive shopping as a legitimate disorder in the DSM. This article notes that in the U.S. avid shopping is a widely observed norm, so it's hard to distinguish avid shoppers from compulsive ones. The whole thing makes my teeth chatter.

An Indianapolis janitor finally got an apology from his union which censured him for reading a historical book on the KKK during his break. Now you know why I'm always nervous about being spotted reading books about Nazis.

A Yahoo article lists five jobs you can feel good about and still make a decent salary at. (Not that it's going to be any picnic getting them. Good luck on that nonprofit executive one. Sheesh.)

A study confirms what we already knew: high-tech gadgets are causing us all to waste our lives. According to this research, 15 to 20 percent of people can be categorized as chronic procrastinators, dramatically up since the availability of computers and mobile phones. Professor Piers Stell from Calgary University estimates that the beeps notifying the arrival of email are responsible for a .5% drop in the gross domestic product of the U.S. -- that's 70 billion a year.

No one is saying reading blogs is anything but an excellent use of your time, of course.

And..I found someone who's an even bigger cheapskate than me. A New York man pulling down six figures a year chose to live in the company paint shed without anyone knowing. I gotta say, I admire the discipline.

Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner?

2008-07-21T20:27:00.000-07:00

My brother David sent me this link which talks about just how horrible it is to work in a poultry factory. When you're cutting into a chicken 20,000 times a day, it's no surprise that you'd be subject to serious carpal tunnel syndrome and tendinitis, but you also might be risking both life and limb. This has been going on for decades, and yet in past years these poor working conditions stopped being part of the public record. The reason is explained by an interviewee on a recent PBS special on this very subject:

AMES ALEXANDER: There used to be a column on injury logs where companies were supposed to record all repetitive motion injuries. Uh, and this essentially gave OSHA inspectors a very quick idea of how common repetitive motion problems like carpal tunnel, like tendonitis, were. Uh, and then, uh, under pressure, uh, from the industry, OSHA removed that column.

(OSHA = Occupational Safety and Health Administration)

The Charlotte Observer did a lot of coverage on this group of workers back in February. They note that over 80% of poultry workers in the Carolinas are Latino, and the majority of those are here illegally, and not in a position to officially complain about sub-par working conditions.

Although my brother correctly assessed that I'd be interested from a Workin' It standpoint, I don't think he is aware that reading about such conditions in poultry factories in a 1989 New York Times article is what prompted me to become a vegetarian, which I still am to this day. Back then, I was so horrified by both the working conditions for humans and the living conditions for the animals that I decided to sever my association with the poultry industry by no longer eating their food. Another reason was, back then, the use of antibiotics on these birds was rampant, although this practice has been somewhat phased out. This overuse led to one strain of bacteria, Campylobacter, commonly found in chickens' intestines, to become resistant to antibiotics, and led to a subsequent massive increase in the presence of this bacteria, which was passed on to humans eating this contaminated poultry. (Which is why everyone is always so concerned about cleaning everything a raw chicken touches.) In 2001 this stuff sickened one percent of the (U.S. human) population per year. This overuse of antibiotics has also seriously contributed to their ineffectiveness in a general sense.

I was planning on posting something upbeat today, since it's Monday. Sorry about that. If you don't work in a poultry plant, you can take solace from that. And, if you do, you have my sympathy.

Bonus Cheapskate Tip

2008-07-19T12:28:00.000-07:00

This is the biggest overall tip I can give you to help you save money: don't increase your expenses just because your income increases. I know that when I made the biggest salary of my life, back in the dot com days, every time I got a check I was surprised that I was being paid yet again. I drove the same car, lived in the same converted garage, and didn't add any significant additional expenses to my budget. As a result, I was able to weather the very grim financial times of late 2001 through 2002 without having to borrow any money.

By the way, I hope anyone doesn't feel personally attacked by my cheapskate posts. Everyone obviously has different priorities, and if you've been dying to buy Guitar Hero or the new iPhone and can afford to do so, don't think I'm quietly thinking: looks like someone's going to be eating cat food in about forty years! I'm not. Unless you're also $20,000 in debt and up to your neck in an ARM mortgage. Then, I admit, I kind of am. But only because I want what's best for you!

How to Be A Cheapskate

2008-07-18T18:26:00.000-07:00

Bleaders, I'm worried about you, and here's why: you're not saving enough money.

I am posting, for your edification, a 2005 chart on worldwide household saving rates. Korea: 10%. Thailand: 18.7%. India: 24.3%. U.S.: 1.4%

That's right, people. The richest country in the world, with one of the most pitiful savings rates going. (As a side note, I can't believe Canada saves as little as we do. I always think of them as being the more thoughtful, civilized version of us.) I don't want to hear your excuses. Cost of living, blah, blah, blah, kids need to get into Harvard someday so they need those lessons, blah, blah, blah, I need those clothes to look good for work, yak, yak, yak. If you're some single mom working two jobs to support your three children and making $28,000, this rant is not directed at you. You are excused. Go make yourself a hot chocolate and take a load off.

For the rest of you, I am going to give you a piece of advice: stop spending so much money. What? You say you don't make enough to save? Let me ask you this: do you have cable TV? Premium channels? Do you buy more than one pair of shoes a year per member of your household? Do you go on vacation, somewhere that involves a plane? Then I don't believe you. Neither does Japan (7.4%) or Germany (10.7%).

Fellow wage slaves, none of us know what the future holds, but I can guarantee you this: some emergency is going to come up where you will need savings. You or your spouse are going to get injured and be out of work; your car will need extensive repairs; your kid will need braces. And no matter what, you are ultimately going to retire, and hopefully live a long time after that. And you're going to need cash, and lots of it.

So here's some advice from a lifelong thrifty person on how to start saving.

1. Buy stuff used. Thrift stores aren't for everyone, and I won't claim that they'll solve all your problems, but it's worth everyone's while to try to buy big items used: appliances, computers, etc. Unless you are a freelance graphic designer, you don't really need a brand new computer, and getting one a year or two old will save you tons of cash. I got a used breadmaker at a yard sale for $5.00. Works great. Delicious, delicious bread.

2. Drive an old car. It's a complete waste of money to buy a new car. It loses value as soon as you drive it off the lot, and the insurance is crazy high. God forbid you're paying it off in installments and paying all that interest. (Don't even tell me, my heart can't take it.) Save up $5,000, buy the best fuel-efficient and reliable car you can afford, and drive it into the ground. Plus, if someone keys your car, you don't even care. Bring it on, vandals! Your attack means nothing to me!

3. Buy quality items that you'll hang on to. If you're making a big purchase, like a piece of furniture, buy something classic that will stand the test of time. That way you won't keep buying the same thing over and over again. I like to buy older used furniture because I find it's more well-crafted than most contemporary stuff, plus (if you can keep kids and pets away from it) it doesn't actually decrease in value like that lame IKEA bookshelf you spent four hours putting together. The same goes for clothes. Avoid purchases that you know are going to be easily identified from a certain period of time (blazers with fringe on the lapels, anyone? Skirts that come down to a point?) and take good care of what you buy.

4. Don't make shopping your hobby. Shopping isn't a hobby. Gardening is a hobby. Chess is a hobby. Find something to do that doesn't cost you money. When you've got some free time, don't go over to Zappos and check out the new shoes. Don't cruise Best Buy looking for new DVD releases. Join Facebook and find your old friends. Got for a run. Learn French (from the tapes you checked out from the library, of course.)

5. Think of excuses not to buy stuff, instead of the other way around. Instead of your usual internal dialogue about how that jacket is going to really be the last black jacket you ever need, so it's totally worth the expense, turn that conversation on its head. Think: I already have two black jackets, and getting another one is not going to improve my life. But at some point I might really need this $60. Pass.

6.Learn to cook. You'll eat better, save money, and it qualifies as a hobby. Plus, it's actually not that hard.

7. Think about what the old version of you will think of your purchases. When I picture old Nancy Matson shaking her bony index finger at current me because I frittered away thirty-five bucks on a throw pillow while she's picking pennies off the sidewalk to buy a cup of coffee, it gives me pause. That old lady scares me.

Have a great weekend!

Linky Wednesday

2008-07-16T21:15:00.000-07:00

Here's a few snippets from an upcoming book about phone sex workers. Sounds like a good job category for an interview.

If you're worried about having enough for retirement, you're probably right to be. Especially if you're a baby boomer.

Workers hard hit by the economy and the unemployed are tapping into their 401(K)s. It makes me all nervous just thinking about it.

I found out too late that the oldest living blogger has now died, at the age of 108. Olive, may you rest in peace.

Workplace bitterness: parents v. non-parents

2008-07-14T19:10:00.000-07:00

It's taboo to mention it, but this poster on the Evil HR Lady's blog did: non parents resent it when they feel they're being asked to do work that people with kids aren't.

According to this article, citing an earlier poll, 16.5 percent of workers resented doing work to cover for a parent who is busy parenting, and 4 in 10 workers resent employers who provide work/family benefits to workers with family only. (I would guess that the first number is on the low side, and we have to consider that some people who responded have kids, and some probably haven't been called upon to do any extra work. I scrounged around for a better poll, but couldn't find one.) The fact is, while no one doubts that managing a career and children at the same time is a difficult task, you have to be a pretty generous person to cheerfully fill in when a parent dashes out of the office and you are asked by your boss to stay late to take care of something your co-worker rightfully should have done.

Usually, of course, this reallocation of work is more subtle. You're asked to come in on the weekend, not the parent who holds the same position, and the reason is never explicitly stated. Or you're in the middle of a meeting, and the people without kids remain behind while the parents run off to pick up their kids. As a non-parent you'd love to leave, too, but you know there is no excuse you can offer that will allow you to gracefully exit. And there you have it, the root of it all: whatever you, as a non-parent, are doing in your off-time, never mind that it's volunteering for the aged or installing solar panels in your house, much less spending time with people you care about or just watching TV -- doesn't count. It's not like you're nurturing America's next generation, are you? Then back to your desk!

Personally, I applaud the efforts to make workplaces more family friendly, and allow people to live their lives with less stress. But I think changes to the work day, like unpaid time off or flextime, should be offered to all employees, not only those with kids. And if parents get to leave at five to pick up their kids from school, non-parents should be extended the same privilege, even if they're only going home to write a curmudgeonly blog post.

Would You Want to Know?

2008-07-11T19:55:00.000-07:00

Agent Nathan Bransford asked his readers this week if there was a seer who could tell writers they'd absolutely, never be published, (a) would they want to know and (b) would they keep writing. Overwhelmingly, the answer was yes, they'd want to know, and even if the news was bad, they'd keep writing.

It's hard to know exactly how seriously most of these responders take their writing, how many hours a week they work on it and all that. I can only assume the range is wide. But I have to say I can't get on board with the idea of continuing to write with any kind of seriousness without the slightest chance of being published and having some kind of audience. Certainly writing a novel, even a short story, is a grueling task if you're going to craft something that anybody besides you can appreciate. Even if you're the kind of writer that enjoys the process, at some point you're going to be (a) despairing that you'll ever finish, (b) sorry you ever started and (c) plagued by the idea that what you have written thus far is utter crap. Certainly it is satisfying when you finally feel you get something right. But doesn't at least some of that satisfaction come from knowing that what you've written is good enough that maybe someone else will like it?

Some people admitted they'd probably cut down on their writing time if they knew there was no hope, and would also spend less time perfecting their prose, but still they'd have to write, because they needed to. I can see keeping a diary or dashing off a page of something you had stuck in your head. Or blogging, because it's not all that taxing. But if you saw a post-apocalyptic movie in which the last human on earth was working on the third draft of a literary novel in the middle of a trash-strewn field, would you really think: oh how nice, she's expressing herself!

I'm sure there are those who write for the sheer joy of it, and I can't say I'd never write another sentence if the seer came to me with the bad news. But I think it's telling that a high percentage of the never-say-die group in the commenters tried to cheat the system, saying no one could ever know for sure what would happen, and some of them would go on writing to just to prove the seers wrong.

Have a great weekend!

Linky Wednesday

2008-07-09T19:02:00.000-07:00

According to a new study, It will cost you about 10% in wages if you sound black. Sounding southern means a pay cut as well.

Young women are now making more money than young men in a number of cities, like New York. Possible reason: women are now graduating from college in greater numbers than men. Possible shift in this trend: when these same men and women reach childbearing age, and some women opt out of work or take less demanding jobs.

Rumors flew that an arthritic jaw might keep professional eater Takeru Kobayashi from attending the annual July 4th hot dog eating contest. (Hey, it's relevant to the blog -- it's his job!) Apparently, it was all a ruse to psych out his opponent, Joey Chestnut, who won, anyway, after a total of 64 hot dogs were eaten by both. There's a lot of pride there. A lot of pride.

The deadliest job these days? Apparently, logging in at 183.6 deaths per 100,000 workers, it's working on cell phone towers. It's hard to imagine that being as fun to watch, though, as Deadliest Catch.

Are you a baby boomer looking to reduce their hours, and willing to take a subsequent cut in pay? It didn't work for this sixtysomething oncologist, and it might not work for you, either.

Happy Wednesday!

Real World Encounters With Used Car Dealers

2008-07-07T18:25:00.000-07:00

In honor of my Q&A with Frank, I've got a treat for all you Nancy Matson historians out there: a short re-telling of my three most notable encounters with used car dealers. Now that I've got the inside scoop on the cutthroat nature of the biz, it all makes sense. A horrible, tragic kind of sense.

#1. A used car lot in Marina del Rey, CA. Some guy in a cheap suit approaches me as I walk on the lot and starts talking. I cut him off and say, "I just want to look around, and I don't want to talk to anyone. If anyone tries to help me, I'm leaving." Twenty, thirty seconds pass, and the guy returns, unable to help himself. He asks if I want any help and makes a few suggestions about what vehicle might suit my needs. I instantly walk off the lot.

#2. A used car lot in the Valley. I enter the office of an older used car salesman, despite the Jack Lemmon/Glengarry Glen Ross vibe. I've already scanned the lot for any cars that meet my very specific criteria, and find none. I reluctantly give him my phone number and the following specific instructions: "I want a Honda, Mazda, or Toyota with less than 60,000 miles on it. I don't care how old it is, and I don't want to pay more than $5,000. If you get a car like that, call me."

Two days later, he leaves me a message about a Chevy Cavalier with 90,000 miles on it. I reiterate that I am really only interested in the specific cars I mentioned. Two days after that, he calls me about a Volkswagen. At this point, I tell him I already bought a car.

#3. A used car lot in Ingelwood. I test drive a green car -- possibly a Ford Taurus. The saleswoman is seated in the passenger seat. About a block away, I notice the check engine light is on.

"Uh, the check engine light is on," I point out. I don't know a lot about cars, but I know that's bad.

"Oh, don't worry, we'll take care of it."

Most likely, my boyfriend suggests later, by dousing the light.

Linky Wednesday

2008-07-02T21:08:00.000-07:00

Emily Yoffe worked as a day care worker for two weeks to see if she could cut it, and confirmed that there are way easier ways to make $18,000/year.

A Long Island millionaire abused her housekeepers and kept them in a state of virtual slavery until one of them fled to a Dunkin' Donuts in rags and got help. Her defense lawyers are claiming that the two women's injuries resulted not from her beating them but because they were practicing witchcraft and abused themselves as part of their rituals. Yeah, that's the best they could do.

London meat company workers forced to clock out whenever they used the toilet. Union angry at, you know, the Dickensian aspect.*

A federal reserve study shows that ugly people earn less, pretty ones more. Short and unattractive guys, you might want to consider starting your own business.

Jonathan Karp notes that authors are spending less time on each book and that there's a lot more crap being published than there used to be. Includes a heads up that if you have a choice of editing an autobiography of Clay Aiken and Manual Noriega, Noriega is easier to deal with. Mark my words, that knowledge is going to come in handy.

And, just for fun, check out this LA Times Story of a scientist who abandoned his family, changed his name, and then went to work in a horse stable.
It's not the most thorough article, but it's still quite a tale.

Happy Wednesday, gentle bleaders.

*for all you Wire fans out there

Interview with a Used Car Salesman

2008-06-30T18:35:00.000-07:00

Frank Sarwark of Consolidated Auto in Arizona was a good sport to answer all my questions, even the slightly snarky ones. You can visit him at his own blog, Trust Me, I'm A Used Car Salesman. It's informative and friendly, just like Frank.

1. I'm sure I'm not telling you anything you don't know when I say that most people have an extremely negative impression of car salespeople -- especially ones who sell used vehicles. I, personally, have had nothing but unpleasant encounters with them. Do you feel that the typical person who sells cars is extremely pushy and untrustworthy? If so, why is that?

Car buying is something that a person doesn't do very often so it is unfamiliar and therefore challenging. The salesperson is working on a commission. If he doesn't sell cars, he earns nothing. A typical new car store has a turnover rate in salespeople of about 30-40% per month. The new salesperson is hired and has a quota to make each month. He sells cars to his family, friends and acquaintances. After those sales it gets harder. If the store can allow 10 salespeople to earn a good living, the store will hire 15 of them or more. That way they have to work harder for every sale.

The salesperson is in an uncomfortable position between a manager that is threatening him if he doesn't sell cars and the customer who looks and may or may not want to buy a car today. Most dealerships work on an "up" system. As customers come in, there is a rotation so every salesperson will get the same number of "ups" or chances to sell a car. If that customer is only looking, that salesperson has to wait until another 15 or 20 customers come in before he has another chance. This is what will make the average salesperson pushy.

The untrustworthiness comes in more with the finance department employees. This is the person who actually does most of the paperwork and gets your deal approved. He is the one who will say, "I know that your credit isn't the best, but if you make payments on time for a year we can refinance the car at a lower rate." More profit can be made in the finance department than on the sale of the car itself. This is where the warranties, insurance products, and accessories come in. If the finance guy can sell these, he makes money too.

2. I notice that your site says that you personally guarantee a pleasant experience or you'll pay the customer for their time. How exactly does this work? And what do people get paid if they hold you to this promise?

I have never actually had anyone take me up on that guarantee. We operate in a way that is a little bit different than a new car dealership. We finance 90% of the cars we sell. That means that when the customer takes delivery of that car, we are entering into a relationship with that person for the next two or three years until that car is paid for. If the customer is unhappy with his purchase and the experience he had, he is less likely to complete the payments and finish paying for the car. If someone were to ask me about the guarantee at that point and say he was unhappy, I would give him $20.

3. Would you say most people who sell cars actually know anything about cars? I don't generally get that sense.

Most people end up selling cars because they are looking for a job. The new car store has a training program that teaches them about the line of cars that they are selling, but the average car salesperson doesn't have a lot more knowledge about cars that the average person on the street. The longer he is in the profession, the more he learns, but most people don't stay in the job too long.

4. What advice would you give someone who is car shopping to get the most out of their experience and not get taken advantage of?

The more information you have, the better equipped you are. If you have a trade-in there are a number of Internet sites that will give you your car's approximate value so you know if the salesperson is trying to low ball you on the value of your trade. Edmunds and KBB are a couple of them. Edmunds will also give you prices on new cars.

Go to your bank or credit union before going shopping for a car. When you ask the salesperson for a Camry with a trade-in that is worth $4,000 and you are already approved at your bank for a loan for the difference it makes things a lot easier.

Warranties and insurance from the dealer can be had from other sources like AAA or your credit union for less and possibly with better coverage.

5. You talk a little about how gas prices are impacting your business. Do you see a trend towards customers wanting more fuel efficient cars?

Right now, the car market is in turmoil. Everybody is thinking fuel economy and getting rid of the full size cars, SUVs, and trucks. Depending on the vehicle right now it might only be worth half of the book value and the really fuel efficient cars are selling at a premium. I heard of someone that wanted to get rid of a big SUV. He sold the car for half what he owed and took a personal loan for the balance in order to pay it off. If you are going to lose $5,000 or more when you sell this car, think of how much fuel $5,000 can buy.

6. What standards do you have for extending credit to car buyers? Are they more stringent than, say, the subprime loan people?

We look at time on the job, address, and area, and then we look at income and ability to pay. The last thing we look at is the credit report. I know that most of the banks, finance companies and credit unions have tightened up their requirements in the last month or two. People who could have easily gotten a car six months ago are now running into problems getting the car at the price and terms they want.

I would say we are more stringent than the subprime people. Since we are entering into a relationship with this buyer for the next few years, we want to make sure the buyer feels comfortable and will be able to complete the transaction.

7. How did you end up in this business?

My father started this business in 1942. I went to work for him when I got out of high school and have been here since then. That was about 40 years ago. I still enjoy the work and the customers. I see people today who we have been dealing with for 20 or more years. We rely a lot on repeat and referral business. The best advertising is word of mouth from a satisfied
customer.

8. How many jobs have you held in your life?

I am probably one in a million. I grew up in a family business and ended up taking it over. I do have some other interests, but this is my career and something that I enjoy doing.

The American Dream...

2008-06-27T19:29:00.000-07:00

..now brought to you by Canada. And Finland. And Denmark.

New research by the Economic Mobility Project shows that the very American notion that you can grow up in a plumbingless hovel and later become a millionaire...well, it's still possible, but it's not as likely as if you were living in, say, Saskatchewan. If you are living in Saskatchewan and reading this, this doesn't apply to you. Also, could I borrow $50?

Here are a few interesting factoids from the report for ya:

-23% of children born to wealthiest parents remain in that upper echelon without a college degree, while only 19% of those born at the bottom quintile who get a college degree climb to the top quintile**. In other words, if you want to be rich, it's better to be born rich and spurn higher education than born poor and go to college.* It's more statistically likely, and, it goes without saying, way easier. Plan accordingly.

-African-American kids are much less likely to make more than their parents than white kids are, regardless of starting income level. Two out of three middle-class white kids go on to exceed their parents' incomes, while only one out of three black kids does.

-in the United States, only 8 percent of people make the “rags to riches” climb from bottom to top rung in one generation, while 11 to 14 percent do so in some other countries.

"..the view that America is “the land of opportunity” doesn’t entirely square with the facts. Individual success is at least partly
determined by the kind of family into which one is born. For example, 42 percent of children born to parents in the bottom fifth of the income distribution remain in the bottom, while 39 percent born to parents in the top fifth remain at the top. This is twice as high as would be expected by chance."

In the good news department:

Real income growth has allowed most Americans to live better than previous generations overall despite the increasing unevenness of income distribution. In other words, maybe you're still at the bottom, but you're not living in a plumbingless hovel. You have plumbing. Plus cable. So it's not so bad.

Have a great weekend, everybody!

**By the way, top quintile just means the top fifth, for those unfamiliar with these terms. And the top fifth in the U.S. means a household income of $81,200 or more.

*It's like I always say: lazy rich people ruin everything.

Bonus Thursday post

2008-06-26T13:02:00.000-07:00

My friend Moira was good enough to send along this link to a truly tough job interview: Steve Vai tells his story of getting auditioned by Frank Zappa as a recent music school graduate. Enjoy!

Linky Wednesday

2008-06-25T19:11:00.000-07:00

Only half of 18-24 year olds believe there will be bookstores in twenty years. I'm sure there is nary a one of those naysayers who goes to the bookstore now, anyway, so what's the big deal? It's like me claiming that we are at the end of the age of paintball.

If you want an example of the unfortunate state of the rock bottom of the kid lit slush pile, check out this excerpt of the story of "little poo." Yes, it's tragically real.

On a related note, remember that in any professional exchange in which you use the phrase "eat shit and die" that you post on your website, you will come out looking worse than your correspondent.

Do you feel like your anxiety is dropping to untenably low levels? Check out this global incident map which displays terrorist possibilities around the world. I'm sure there's something near you!

Feel like dropping casual insults about David Sedaris but aren't sure how to get started? Michael Ian Black tells us how.

For example:

"...you're knitting with some gal pals. Somebody drops a stitch. You respond by saying, 'Speaking of stitches, that's what David Sedaris wishes he had me in when I read his last book.'"

It's obviously all a clever publicity ploy, which is fine by me. To that I say: Augusten Burroughs, it's time to throw down!

Happy hump day, compatriots!

Interview with a Marriage Counselor

2008-06-23T18:15:00.000-07:00

If you live in the East Bay in the San Francisco area and could use some help with your relationship, maybe Jay Slupesky can help you out. If not, you can at least get some insight into his profession here.

1. What are the five most common problems that motivate couples to attend marriage counseling?

Here are the top five, but not in any particular order:

Blended family issues. This occurs most often when one of the spouses has been married before and has kids from that marriage. If the kids are at least 10 or so, there can be trouble between them and the stepparent which then becomes trouble in the marriage.

An Affair. One spouse has been caught or has admitted to cheating. This is devastating, of course, and sometimes ends the marriage. But some couples want to work through it, and so they come to counseling.

Porn addiction. This is becoming a bigger issue due to the easy availability of pornography on the Internet. Some men become addicted to porn. They sometimes can hide it for a while, but eventually the problem surfaces.

Stage-of-life crisis. I see this more often in women than in men, believe it or not. The most common case is that of a woman who was a stay-at-home mom but who has something of an identity crisis when the youngest child leaves home. She frequently makes some significant life changes at this point and may re-evaluate whether or not she wants to stay married.

Communication problems. Many couples don’t know how to express their feelings to each other in a healthy way. At one extreme, they may argue constantly. At the other extreme, both people keep their feelings to themselves. Neither option is good.

2. Is it sometimes obvious to you after a session or two that the couple you're treating would be better off apart?

Yes. For example, if I find out that the husband is physically abusing his wife or is extremely controlling of her and that he is not willing to try to change, then I think it’s better for the wife to leave him. I spent a year working as an intern counselor at a domestic violence shelter, so I am quite familiar with this pattern of behavior on the man’s part. Sometimes the man will claim that he had 'no choice' but to hit his wife because she 'provoked' him. Or I might find out that the wife has to let her husband know where she is at all times and that she is not 'allowed' to go certain places or see her friends. These are all red flags to me.

3. What problems do you sometimes see that can't be solved through the counseling process?

Occasionally I will get a couple where one spouse has announced that he/she wants out of the marriage. The other spouse doesn’t want the marriage to end and has convinced the unhappy partner to attend counseling in an attempt to patch things up before agreeing to separation or divorce. Unfortunately, by this time it is usually too late to fix things because the unhappy spouse has been unsatisfied for years and already has one foot out the door. This is a case in which the couple should have begun counseling several years earlier.

4. Do couples have to be married to engage your services?

No. I see unmarried couples as well as married ones. This includes young couples who are planning to be married as well as older couples who have no plans to marry. Although many relationship problems are common to both married and unmarried couples, I have noticed that unmarried couples are more likely to have “trust issues.” They suspect that their partner is cheating on them and so will be spying on them by reading their email, checking their phone, looking at their MySpace page, etc. A lot of times people with trust issues have been cheated on in previous relationships so it’s not hard to understand why they fear that it will happen again.

5. Do you occasionally get couples with very minor problems that can be worked out quickly, but simply need an intermediary?

Yes. A couple may be generally happy and satisfied with their relationship but be stuck on one particular issue. It might be something to do with job choice, a financial decision, or a major decision involving children. When this happens they may come to me for a few sessions just to have an impartial third party engender a healthy discussion and point out options that may not have been considered.

6. Do you find that people are often surprised by what is said by their partners during a counseling session?

Yes, this happens sometimes. For example, sometimes a person will 'save' an issue for the next counseling session rather than bringing it up at home. This is because he/she feels safer discussing the issue with me in the room; I won’t let the discussion get nasty or out of control.

7. What general advice can you give to couples who want a long, successful partnership?

Try to see things from one another’s points of view. I’ve written about this recently on my blog. It sounds easy, but in fact it’s not easy at all and requires some concentration. If you can put yourself in your spouse’s shoes and feel things as if you were in his/her position, you go a long way toward being able to understand him/her. When both spouses understand each other at this level, conflict goes way down.

The sad fact is that many couples will argue just for the sake of trying to convince each other of who is right and who is wrong. They completely gloss over the hurt feelings that caused the argument to begin in the first place. They should really be talking about the hurt feelings and not who is right and who is wrong.

8. How many jobs have you held in your life?

Fast food worker, warehouse clerk, landscaper, radio station engineer, electrical engineer and therapist. I guess that’s six.

Off-Topic Friday: My Dentist Adventure

2008-06-20T19:34:00.000-07:00

On Monday night, I noticed a pronounced sensitivity when I rinsed my mouth with cold water after brushing my teeth. After a monumentally undignified effort involving my bathroom mirror and a mag-lite, I discovered the culprit: a gaping hole in one of my lower molars where a cavity had obviously fallen out. The next morning, first thing, I called my dentist, and scheduled an emergency appointment for the following day.

My appointment was for 2:00 on Wednesday; I arrived about fifteen minutes early. As I mounted the stairs to the familiar building, I realized I couldn't remember what suite my dentist was in. I checked the business card I had brought with me, and verified the number: 202. As I approached the door, I was disturbed to find out my dentist's name was no longer on it. In fact, no one's name was on the door.

In a panic, I called my dentist's number and got the following message:

"Dr. Goff's office is closed through [whatever date] during our move. If this is an emergency, please leave a message."

After the beep, I started leaving a long, stream-of-consciousness message. "Hi, I had an appointment for 2:00, and it is an emergency, I have a big hole in my tooth. I'm not sure where you guys are but I'm outside the door right now of your old office, maybe you're still here..."

I open the door and the entire office has been stripped down to the walls. There was nobody in there.

"Please call me and tell me where you are...."

I hung up the phone and sat on a nearby bench, trying to figure out what to do. I then went outside to ask the parking lot if there was a building manager onsite I could talk to, and he said no. Then I decided I would throw myself on the mercy of the closest dentist, hoping there was some dental Hippocratic oath that would come into play. I scanned that building for anyone with D.D.S. after their name, but found only M.D.s. Then I went next door and found a D.D.S. on the first floor.

I walked in and three women were sitting behind the counter. "This is going to sound kind of weird, but my dentist, Dr. Goff, just moved, and I'm not sure where she is..."

"Oh, we know Dr. Goff," said one of the women, who quickly found the information and wrote her new address a post-it for me. "I'm not sure what suite it is." I thanked them, and drove the ten or fifteen blocks away, where I parked in the parking structure, which was also the parking structure for the retirement home next door. Not sure of how to go up to street level, I opened the door to a glass-enclosed elevator area, which set off an alarm system -- it was the door to the retirement home elevator only. I ran off, up the ramp I had driven down, making no effort to rectify the situation.

Finally, I get to the building I'd been directed to. Dr. Goff is not listed in the directory. No problem. Using my new knowledge of the dentist underground, I simply scan for the first D.D.S. and go to their office to see if they know where she is. Fourth floor, they think.

I wander around the fourth floor until I find her name on the door, enter the office, and start to tell my story to the two women behind the counter. "We know who you are," one of them says. "We got your message. We weren't answering the phone because we were working on a computer problem." I could hear customer support on the other end of the phone line.

Then my dentist fixes my tooth.

It wasn't until after I left that I wondered when they'd gotten my message, and if it had been more than a minute, why they hadn't called me back.

When I paid the parking lot attendant when I left, I didn't recognize him at first. Not until he said "you found the person?"

I did a double take. "You work at this parking lot, too?" I asked him. Yup. It was the same guy.

He nodded, and pointed to the front of my car. "I recognized the license plate."

Okay. I don't think I'd ever been recognized by my license plate before.

And then I went back to work.

Have a great weekend!

Linky Wednesday

2008-06-18T19:19:00.000-07:00

I have never seen this actually written before, but I've intuited that publishers really like it if you can crank out a book a year. Dennis Lehane says "no more!"

Incredibly attractive people, relax. Your hotness is not keeping you from getting the job. That's one more point for your team in an already crushing defeat.

Some mother and son went into Habitat for Humanity and asked for a bookshelf for the boy to hold all the books he'd received from the First Book program. Apparently, no one at this Florida Habitat for Humanity office had ever asked for a bookshelf before. And this is pitched as a warm fuzzy story?

Freakonomics has an interesting Q&A with a plastic surgeon.

And, finally, if you happened to miss my radio interview a few weeks back about Stuff Ya Don't Want, fear not. It is now archived for your listening pleasure.

Interview with an Antiques Dealer

2008-06-16T17:58:00.000-07:00

Or, more specifically, Michelle Staley of My Granny's Attic Antiques, Collectibles & Gifts.

1. How did you get started as an antique dealer?

I was exposed to the wonderful world of antiques at a very young age: five. One of my aunts was an antique dealer, and her husband (my uncle) was an clock repairer and collector. When I would spend summers with my Granny we would go with them to First Monday in Canton, Texas. Another aunt and uncle of mine would also go. She was a quilter and he bred and sold hunting dogs. They would give me $5.00 and turn me loose to scout around and find treasures of my own, some of which I still have. At the time First Monday was just a small, intimate affair where everyone know everybody. Now it covers about 10 acres and you can't see it all in one day.

2. What types of antiques do you specialize in?

I don't really have a specialty. I sell a very wide assortment of goods from fine china and antique glass ware to Garbage Pail Kid Cards. I also sell items that I am tired of having in my personal collections. Right now I am paring down my vintage dolls and vintage and antique kitchen gadgets. I buy and sell items that appeal to me personally and that pretty much includes everything you can imagine.

3. Where do you acquire most of your collectibles? Does it seem like merchandise is relatively easy to come by?

I love live auctions and attend a local weekly auction as often as I can. I also frequent estate sales and some garage sales. Since I am an antique dealer and known among many of the estate sale companies, most have a "dealer preview" night before they open to the public this is where I find a lot of my better items.

Another source I use is friends scattered all over the country. If they come across something they know I will like they will send me a photo and a price and either I purchase it or not. This comes in handy if I have a customer that is looking for a specific item. I can put the word out and hopefully someone will come through with the item. I don't have a hard time finding items but I also spend quite a bit of time out there looking and shopping.

4. Have you seen the bottom fall out in any particular area of collectibles?

The antiques market is very fluid and always has been. Items go in and out of popularity and you never know what the next hot trend will be. Right now I am seeing people purchase items that remind them of their childhood, the 1970s in particular, so these items aren't even classified as antiques. They are collectibles. People are also interested in items that their grandparents or parents had which does take us back a few decades.

I have seen the true antique doll market falter a bit but it seems to be on the upswing. This is another reason I have not locked myself into one particular genre of antique or collectible. One of the reasons I see for some of the fluctuation are the large numbers of so called dealers, uninformed about their wares and uninterested in learning about them, selling online either through shops or online auction sites. They don't know what they are selling and are passing off reproduction items as antiques thus burning people and not refunding money or even offering a apology to the buyer when it is brought to their attention that they have misrepresented an item. It just puts a bad taste in peoples mouth when word gets out and the rest of us suffer for it. This happens quite often with glassware and porcelain items.

5. Is there an area of antiques you would advise people not to get into collecting?

I always tell people to buy what they love, don't buy for investment purposes. If you buy what you love then you will never be disappointed in it. All of my personal collections have started that way. My heart will give a little flutter when I see something that I just have to own and nine times out of ten the item comes home with me. I also keep my antiques and collectibles out where I can see them and/or use them. The only things behind glass doors are my dolls and that is just because they are so hard to keep clean if they are left out in the open. I would advise people not to fall for the "Limited Edition" items, such as dolls and plates, that are advertised in magazines. Hundreds of thousands (if not millions) of these items are produced and an equal number of people purchase them. These items will not go up in value so do not buy them unless you get the little heart flutter and just can't live without it. If you are going to collect, please take the time to learn about your collection(s). Learning the history of pieces is part of the fun of collecting.

5. What's the most profitable area of your business?

Ha Ha, profit? As far as the selling of a particular category of product it varies from week to week but I would say that my copper tea kettles and copper molds are probably my very best sellers. I have quite a few vintage clothes and a lot of vintage costume jewelry that I have not put in the shop yet but I foresee those items doing very well. I try to keep my prices low and competitive and most of my profit is turned right back around into new inventory.

One of the most satisfying aspects or areas of my shop has been my resource and research area where I provide information on porcelain marks and the history of the companies that made the pieces. I get so much positive feedback on this particular portion of my shop. People get so excited when they learn the history of their pieces. I also have an antique forum so that people can post photos and ask questions about their antiques and collectibles. It is also a big hit. The last time I checked we had about 3000 active members. I have several people who help me answer questions.

6. Have you ever bought something that turned out to be fake?

Oh, yes, a supposed antique doll that I fell in love with that I purchased at an antique show. I took her straight to an antique doll dealer friend of mine to get her some new clothes and it was then I was informed that she was a well made "kit" doll. Or a doll that someone had
reproduced from an antique. Fortunately, she wrote me a little letter which I took back
to the seller and the seller gave me my money back and let me keep the doll. She did not know that she was a new reproduction either. That is the only time so far.

7. What do you think about the long-term viability of the vintage costume jewelry market (this one's for me -- I'm a collector!)

This market has always held pretty strong. Celluloid is being reproduced, so you do have to be careful and be knowledgeable about what you are buying, but every woman loves the sparkle of a great Coro rhinestone necklace or Weiss bracelet.* I have so many vintage rhinestone brooches that I could wear a different one every day of the week for a year and still not wear them all. Even the new reproduction pieces cannot compare to the beauty and style of vintage costume jewelry pieces so this market will hold its own. Especially in this day of recycle and reuse.

8. What is the biggest misconception laypeople have about your job?

That I have a lot of time on my hands and that this is an easy job. I love what I do and would not trade it for the world but it does keep me very busy. Since I work from home I often put in 10-12 hour days, six days a week. I always have new items to photograph and enter into
inventory, put on the website, and find a place to store in the store room. I also have to maintain the website, respond to emails, pack orders, research items I am not familiar with (I will not post anything in my shop if I do not know the history of it), work on the paid appraisals that come in, shop for new inventory and take care of my family and dogs. I think I work harder now than I did when I worked for someone else.

9. How many jobs have you held in your life?

I was a bartender through my college days. I have an Associates of Applied Science degree as an X-Ray Tech and worked in the medical field for 18 years, plus my mom and I had an antique store during most of that time. In my 30s I decided to change careers and obtained my BS degree in human resource management with the idea I would go to law school and practice family law, but a few months after I graduated my oldest daughter found out she was going to be a mom and I decided not to pursue law school so that I could stay home and care for my grandchild. In 2000 I closed the live antique shop and opened my online antique shop. I had my amazing granddaughter full-time her first three years while her parents worked and my daughter went to school, part-time for the next year, then she was off to school.

I have not completely given up on going to law school but I am doing what I love and I am here for my grandchild if she is sick or out of school for some reason so I don't see law school in my near future...maybe when I am on the other side of 50. I also believe that giving back to my community is very important and currently volunteer for two different organizations both of which deal with children. Since 1989 I have been the Kansas chapter coordinator for a nationwide child support advocacy organization and for the past two years the Kansas coordinator and leader for a worldwide anti-bully organization. I began with them after a 15 year stint with a local teen drug and alcohol prevention and early intervention group.

Thanks, Michelle!

*Indeed.

Censorship and kids' books

2008-06-13T15:40:00.000-07:00

I just read an academic journal from 1996 devoted to the subject of worldwide censorship of children's literature -- Paradoxa: Studies in World Literary Genres/Censorship in Children's Literature and it was just as dry and poorly-written as you would imagine. Nonetheless, it contains a few interesting nuggets, which I will pass on to you here.

*Many Western children's classics, such as Winnie the Pooh and Peter Pan, were not made available to a Soviet audience until the 1960s and 70s. Thus, Soviet authors frequently plagiarized these well-known stories in earlier eras. One of the most popular Russian kids' books is a slightly altered version of the Wizard of Oz, which is much better known there than the Frank Baum version.

*After WWII, the General Headquarters of Allied Powers in Japan (mainly the US army) censored any materials which were seen to promote Japanese Imperialism or criticize the American occupation. Thus, suspicion about any kind of censorship is pretty widespread in Japan, across political parties, to this day.

*While censorship was a major component of both Nazi Germany and post-war East Germany, the GDR was much more systematic about it. The Nazi censors were big fans of the Johanna Spyri classic "Heidi," because of its perceived celebration of nature, but the GDR felt it was too bourgeois.

*In locations like the United States, where there is no state-sponsored censorship, "challenges" to books' contents usually comes from parents, school committees, etc. (A point which is not actually made in this volume, to give you an idea of the total lack of clarity with which it is written.) However, criticisms like this can exert a subtle effect on an author. From well-known children's author Lois Lowry:

"In Number The Stars, I knew I would get an occasional outraged or concerned letter about the use of the adjective damn in a book whose audience would sometimes be as young as eight years old. And I did receive those letters...I was willing to defend my use of the word because of the context."

Then:

"I began, after a few books, to consider each bad word that appeared from my typewriter, later from my word processor, and to question whether it needed to be there."

The best thing in the volume is this exchange, cited in a paper about the importance of providing young people books which raise societal issues and address them in complex ways, between a would-be censor and a student:

Adult: You just don't understand how you can be influenced by a bad book.

Student: That's only if you read weak. You've got to read strong.

Read strong, my friends. And have a great weekend!

Linky Wednesday

2008-06-11T13:17:00.000-07:00

Oooh. I'm feeling especially linky today.

According to a recent poll, a lot of people are putting off vacations because of the the looming recession. Don't do it -- most likely you very much deserve this time off, and if not, it's a chance for people to be distracted from the terrible job you're doing for a full week.

Economist Paul Krugman expounds on a point I made in the comment section of Friday's post regarding alternate revenue streams for authors in the face of digital distribution of books. I always knew NY Times columnists were cruising the comments section here for column ideas. So keep those comments coming!

The zeppelin may be making a comeback! A 12-passenger version will be crossing the ocean, thanks to an endowment from Count Ferdinand von Zeppelin.

Writers were asked to recommend books to the presidential candidates. Here's what they came up with.

A 102-year-old former Negro League Baseball Player was flown to Yankee Stadium to be honored. Aw, that's nice. In other old people news, a 115-year-old woman's brain shows that you don't have to lose brain function even if you get really, really old. That one's for you, Mom.

Interview with a Middle School Teacher

2008-06-09T13:00:00.000-07:00

Ms-teacher blogs about educational topics and her experiences as a teacher.

1. What prompted you to become a teacher?

My journey to becoming a teacher was rather long. I went back to school when my second child was 18 months old with the intent of becoming a paralegal and then perhaps going to law school. It took me seven years to get my BA in Government/Political Science. I was lucky to land a job for a state senator with whom I worked for a few years. I thoroughly enjoyed working for him, but hated the backstabbing atmosphere provided by many of my colleagues. My original intent when becoming involved in politics was to give back to my community. That's when it hit me that I could have much more impact at the local level by becoming a teacher. I've often said that from the moment I walked through the doors of my first classroom, I knew that this was where I was meant to be all along.

2. It is common for people to complain that teachers are poorly paid. Do you feel that you and your co-workers aren't properly compensated for the work you put in?

People usually assume by our work schedule that we have it easy because we get off mid-afternoon, have summer vacation, and enjoy various breaks throughout the year. What too many don't realize is how much of our own time and money we use to help support the learning environment of our students. A good example for me is that this summer I will be attending three conferences, all of which are a week long. I also spend a lot of time after I'm "off the clock" developing curriculum, looking and exploring ways to make me a better teacher, and doing such daily essentials like grading papers, lesson planning, etc. I have a 55 minute prep each day, but during that time I'm expected to make phone calls to parents, grade papers, make copies and do anything else that my administrator might want me to do.

For the level of work that a conscientious teacher puts in every day in comparison to other professionals with similar amounts of education, I would say that the vast majority of us are underpaid. I've held other jobs in the private sector prior to becoming a teacher and I hadn't yet earned my BA. Salaries and benefits coupled with professional integrity and respect were much more than I experience now in many ways.

3. How many hours do you typically put in per week?

On the clock hours, my contract has me working 37.5 hours each week. Off the clock, it depends upon what time of year it is. Right now it's not too bad because the year is winding down, but the first 3/4 of the year, I would wager I put in an additional 20 to 30 hours each week.

4. What would you say are the biggest problems facing most teachers today?

We are increasingly asked to do a lot more with a lot less. I'm not just talking about salaries either. In my school district, we have had to lay off a lot of support staff, such as our counselors, office staff and custodians. The people picking up the slack are teachers. When people tell me I have it easy as a teacher, I gladly invite them to trade jobs with me for a week. If teaching was so easy, we would have people beating down the doors to do it.

I would also say lack of professional respect from the public at large can be very depressing. Some assume that as a teacher that my sole intent is to indoctrinate their children in a way that is in opposition to their belief system. I'm not sure how I can do that teaching ancient history or language arts, which is what I teach. And thanks to the many unflattering news story that have hit the press with teachers having sex with their students, teachers humiliating kindergarteners, or sleeping on the job, this has led to more bad assumptions on the part of the general public. Most teachers want to teach because they want to positively impact the lives of children, not because they want to morally corrupt or harass our young charges.

5. What impact is the increase in standardized testing having in the classroom?

I've not known teaching without standardized testing. For me, all my lessons are built around the mandated standards set forth by the state of California. I also tell my students that they should do their best, not to stress and as long as they know they tried their hardest, that's all anyone can ask of them. I do not think that standardized testing is a necessarily bad idea; however, I do think that those making education policy need to understand that their are a variety of reasons that children may not perform well on tests.

A good example that I can provide regards one of my students from this school year. Ricky has been a mostly B/C student for the majority of this school year. In March, I started noticing a change in his academics. I asked him about it and all he was willing to share with me is that he and his mom had moved from his stepfather's house. We had our state-mandated testing towards the end of April. Ricky often came to school late, without his school supplies and just generally disinterested. It was a very noticeable change from his behavior earlier in the year. He still wasn't willing to share much with me.

Finally just this past week, Ricky came into my classroom at lunch to talk to me. He started telling me how his mother had left his stepfather and had moved in with another guy. This guy started beating up on his mom. She clearly needs to move, but has nowhere to go. Finally, his aunt stepped in and agreed to take Ricky a couple of weeks ago. His mom had left the guy beating on her for a little bit, but has since moved back in with him. I can tell by what Ricky was telling me that even though he's safe, he's clearly worried about the safety of his mom.

Now, if anyone looks at Ricky's test and he performs poorly on it, they are only going to see a test score. They aren't going to know what I know about him and know that based on his earlier work, I know that he probably can do better. There are so many variables when it comes to standardized testing and yet, some are calling for merit pay based on it. To me, it's absurd.

6. What are the biggest misconceptions about teaching?

That my job is easy!

7. How many jobs have you held in your lifetime?

I have had many jobs over my lifetime, from customer service rep in an insurance company, to day care provider, to selling Mary Kay Cosmetics. I've done a lot.

What The Future Leaves Behind

2008-06-04T21:21:00.000-07:00

Aging Gen-Xer that I am, I sometimes I find myself feeling nostalgic for the old ways. This includes, but is not limited to, stuff I never actually liked at the time. For example: the shared home phone. Since all the generations who come after me will only ever have cell phones, they'll never quite grasp the communal feeling of having your mother or housemate or boyfriend yell "Hey, Nancy, it's for you!" and then hold out the receiver in your direction. They'll never suffer from the supreme indifference of a roommate who fails to give messages to you in a timely fashion, and upon delivering them fails to pass on the useful particulars. "Some dude called for you," your friend-of-a-friend might say, the guy who you let stay with you with the understanding he'd move out in a week or so after he found a place -- and even this nugget will only be offered after you've asked five times if someone's called. "At least I think it was a dude. It might have been a girl with a deep voice."

"Was his name Joseph?" you'd ask slyly.

"Yeah," he'd say, nodding. "I think so."

"I don't even know anyone named Joseph!"

He'd shrug. "Well, it was something like that."

I'm starting to feel like that, in a pre-emptive way, about the paper book.

I've never had anything but affection for the good old tree-killing hardcover or softcover, though I'm not completely averse to new technologies. But with reading devices like the Kindle gaining popularity, I can see that more books in the future will be electronic. What do I think the downside of this is? If the physical aspect of a book is lost, then you can no longer read an inscription in a book, which, if they are from an earlier age, are inevitably inscribed by a relative or friend and dated Christmas and the year. You will never wonder why the previous owner of The Scarlet Letter chose to highlight two pages in the middle of chapter two that didn't seem to be of any special import. And you'll never find the extra bits, the bookmarks from the book's past -- plane tickets, sometimes a juicy postcard. Or even this letter, which was tucked into the Robert's Rules of Order I scored by the dumpster a few weeks back. It's got to be fake. But it's funny, anyway.

*I will discuss the dubious environmental advantage of this in a future post

Linky Wednesday

2008-06-04T17:56:00.000-07:00

More than half of US workers call the American Dream unattainable according to a new Zogby poll. The dream is as follows: "the opportunity to have a nice home, financial security for you and your family, and hope for the future." 45.1% of people polled described themselves as bitter about the deterioration of their economic circumstances. No one commented on the sheer banality of calling home ownership a "dream."

A bunch of people who busted into Robert Frost's house for partying purposes and destroyed a bunch of his former property are now forced to take poetry classes to help them learn the error of their ways. In your face, anti-literary punks.

A very old couple, 100 and 99, drove the wrong way on a highway in New Zealand and ultimately crashed. Ironically, the fact that they were able to dodge other cars for a full mile before the accident makes you think whoever was driving (which is still unknown) was pretty on the ball.

If you're bummed out about excessive junk mail, why not sign the do not mail petition, similar to the do not call petition, that calls upon our legislators to end the annoyance and anti-environmentalism of all that wasted paper. Let's do this thing, America!

Interview with a Truck Driver

2008-06-02T19:53:00.000-07:00

Gi-Gi Roxx gives us the scoop on the life of a professional truck driver.

Q) It looks like you only recently gave up your government job to become a trucker. What made you do it?
A) Honestly, I'd had the idea of trucking nestled in the back of my mind since I was very young. My grandfather was a truck driver and my dad did it for a short while before I came into the world. I also had a best friend in my pre-teen years whose dad drove a truck, for the same company I am now working for (and he's still here as well). Over the years I've made comments here and there about how I was going to be a truckin' mama. No one took me seriously. Not even myself.

I was working a nice goverment job when I made up my mind to change my life. I had great benefits and worked just blocks away from home. However, there just wasn't much adventure in walking or riding my bike to and from work every day. Plus, it was simple work, for very simple pay. It was mind numbing and boring and I needed something more.

I'd say my main motivators for change were adventure and pay. I knew that going over the road was going to be quite interesting and adventurous. And I knew that I would nearly double my salary. (Which really isn't saying much, if you'd seen my paychecks from the government job.)

Q) What percentage of professional truck drivers would you say are women? Do you meet a lot of other ones on the road?

A) I honestly don't know any of the factual statistics of men vs. women on the road. But I do see a LOT of women out here driving big trucks. If I had to guess... I'd say it's creeping up towards 25-30%. But not all of them are solo drivers, like myself. I see a lot of female team drivers, which seem more often than not to be the female half of husband/wife teams.

I have met quite a few lady truckers since I've been out on our nation's highways. But honestly, I see more guys than gals. I always have to give a big smile to any other lady I see getting down out of a big rig driver's seat, though. It makes me feel very proud to be part of the female trucking revolution (so to speak).

Q) How many days are you usually away from home at a time? Where do you stay when you're on the road?

A) Well, up until this month I had been going out for two to two-and-a-half weeks and going home for two to three days at a time, which works out really well since I am able to keep rolling more than sitting still. I only make money when I'm tacking on miles, you see. And if I take more than two or three days off in a row, I'm not making anything!

I am given five days a month off by my company, so I try to use them as efficiently as I can. This month, however, I wasn't thinking when I had planned my time at home (days off) and ended up putting myself out on the road for exactly four weeks before I was scheduled for any days off. I don't know what I was thinking! But for my solid efforts and hard work, instead of the three measly days I'd requested off, I'm getting four. I can't complain!

When I'm on the road, I live in my truck. I eat, sleep and entertain myself in my truck daily. If only I had a private bathroom/shower in this thing! I do have a lot of awesome conveniences in my truck though, so don't feel bad for me. I've made it much like my own rolling dorm room. I have a fairly comfortable bed (two, actually, but I only need one for myself) and I have it piled with pillows and a soft comforter. I have a small 12-volt fridge and a 12-volt cooker that I can prepare my own hot meals in (which is a must and a life/money saver). I also have a closet in which to hang my clothes and lots of little cubby holes to store all my various bits of necessity in.

It's very homey actually and everyone that's taken the "grand tour" has commented on how nice it is and how it's different from what they would have imagined. I like it...would like it more with a bathroom! But I make do.

Occasionally, however, it is nice to put myself up in a hotel for a night. And there is nothing quite like going home to my own bed and bath.

Q) What would you say are the biggest drawbacks to the job?

A) The biggest drawback for me is being away from my family and friends. When I do get my time off at home, I'm always rushing to get things done like laundry and shopping and visits with the family. It's always tough to get everything I want to do done in just a couple of days. But I make the most of all the time I do get with my family and friends, so that drawback has it's benefits. Quality over quantity, for sure.

The second biggest drawback is having to shower with shoes on all the time. I mean, I could probably risk fungal infections to shower without shoes on, but why?! haha! Seems frivolous I know, but try showering EVERY DAY with flipflops on and you'll soon grow weary as well.

Q) What are the biggest perks?

A) Biggest perks...there are too many to list, really. But to give you some idea of my personal perks: Waking up in a new city or state every day. Seeing places I may never have had the opportunity to see otherwise. Learning that I am capable of doing things I never thought I'd do or have a need to do. Discovering myself through inner reflection on long road trips. Discovering my loved ones in deep, meaningful phone conversations. Making the best paychecks I've ever seen in my life. Being able to pay my bills, stay afloat financially, and know I've got a real place in this career field. I could keep going, but those to me are the most important.

Q) Can you see yourself doing this for the long term?

A) I can, indeed! Some days I still find myself wondering what I was thinking in making this drastic career move. But those are generally the days that I find myself fatigued and not performing at my top level. Thankfully, however, most days are good days. And it's the good days when I've experienced something new and exciting or overcome some obstacle that I am reminded of why I am doing this.

Q) How many jobs have you had in your lifetime?

A) Oh, geeze. I have lost count. Let's see, I was a cashier for a local breakfast joint, a bagger at a grocery store, a video rental clerk, a secretarial assistant at the university I attended. I was also a Wal-Mart associate, a property manager at a real estate rental company, for two days I worked a jewlery counter at a military exchange... hmm...I worked two different telemarketing jobs, as a fine gifts/collectibles sales associate, as a department store fitting room attendant (probably the worst of all the jobs on my list). And as a state government employee.

But now I'm a professional truck driver and private residential rental owner.

Homicide -- the second leading cause of death on the job

2008-05-30T13:37:00.000-07:00

I'm sure you've played the fun game at work of discussing who is the person in your office who is most likely to snap and kill the rest of the staff; I know I have. But how likely are to you meet your end while on the clock?

As it turns out, not all that likely. Yes, homicide is the second most common cause of death on the job, and that sounds bad, but there aren't a whole lot of upbeat choices in this category. You've got accidents, deaths by natural causes, suicides, and homicides, right? In 1998 there were 709 work-related homicides on the job as compared with 1,431 highway accidents that were job related, out of 6,026 total work-related deaths. All things considered, I bet work is a pretty safe place to be for most people, just like schools are quite safe despite all the attention to school shootings.

If you read my previous post on the most dangerous jobs, you can get a sense of which professions which contain inherently risky elements. What might surprise you about work-related homicides, though, is that most of these occur not because an enraged loner chooses to vent his rage on his current and former co-workers with a semi-automatic, but during robberies. So if you are murdered on the job, it's about 2:1 that your assailant neither knows you or has any particular interest in you, and you merely had the bad luck of standing between him and his loot. If you have a moment before you exit the world to consider this fact, I hope it brings you some solace.

Taxi drivers and chauffeurs, clocking in at 17.9 fatalities per 100,000 workers, suffer from the highest rate of work-related homicides. Police officers and private guards rank high in this category as well, as do convenience store clerks, so the stereotype does hold. I did know until I read this report that truck drivers are also a common target, probably because they are often alone and are carrying valuable cargo. So this is a head's up to our Monday interview, Gi-Gi, to be careful out there!

Come back for Gi-Gi's interview on Monday!

Linky Wednesday

2008-05-28T12:50:00.000-07:00

Zappos is apparently offering call center employees $1000 after training to not take the job and instead take the money and run. Apparently about 10% of their potential employees take them up on it. I find this interesting though I would have to know more about the pay scale for this position and whether or not the training is paid training to really evaluate these results.

Richest guy in the world Warren Buffett declares that the U.S. recession will be long and deep. Since this guy made his fortune by understanding the world financial markets, I would take heed. Fasten your seat belts and please put your seats in their upright positions.

Some dude in Mayor Bloomberg's office in New York got fired for playing computer solitaire on the clock, though he claims he only did it when his work was completed. When the hammer comes down, it comes down on us all.

N+1 estimates that a young writer living in New York City requires $25,000/year to live, a figure that certainly means living someplace pretty crummy, far from anything, and spending a lot of time walking the streets in the cold wishing you had a spare $3.oo so you could stop in and get a cup of tea somewhere. The same article lays out your options: the university; journalism; odd jobs; independent wealth. Presumably, you know my option of choice.

If you are reliably employed, I urge you to throw a bone to those who really need it. I just gave $100 to Doctors Without Borders, which is helping people out in natural disaster zones in Myanmar and China. If you'd rather help out those close to home, why not throw down some cash at the efficiently run America's Second Harvest, a network of national food banks. With fuel and food costs on the rise it's pretty rough out there.

Happy hump day!

Interview with a Wedding Photographer

2008-05-26T16:29:00.000-07:00

1) What is your name and job?

My name is Cory Ann Ellis and I am a professional photographer who primarily shoots portraits and weddings.

2) Did you study photography in school? If not, what was your photography background before becoming a wedding photographer?

I did not study photography in school. I have an MS in Physical Education from Indiana State University and was a college soccer coach and instructor prior to starting this business. During grad school I took a beginning photography class (black and white film) at DePauw University which gave me a good base to begin learning. Since then I have studied books, used forums, practice, and taken a few seminars and workshops. I got my first SLR camera at the age of 24 (I think).

3) Is it a full-time job, or do you work weekends only (when I assume most weddings take place?)

This is my full-time job. I do some form of work seven days a week. I am not only the photographer, but also the editor, post processor, bookkeeper and wear at least a dozen other hats that are needed to run the business. I work many weekends because, yes, that is when the weddings take place.

4) Have you ever worked at a wedding when you didn't get a shot at one of the key moments of the ceremony or reception?

I have missed key shots occasionally. It does not happen very often and the longer I do this these times are fewer and further between. I also typically have many images in a sequence so I have it covered.

5) Do you ever have run-ins with hostile guests while trying to get the pictures you need?

I haven't had any hostile guests. Most guests are just anxious to use their cameras and think they are doing the bride and groom a "favor" or "gift" by getting additional images. They don't mean any harm, they just don't understand that they should simply leave their cameras at home and enjoy the day. It is better for the bride and groom in the long run.

Now hostile officiants, church and venue coordinators and DJ's is a whole other issue.

6) What was the happiest wedding moment you witnessed?

Way to put a girl on the spot. I have photographed over 100 weddings and while not all of them are emotional many are. It's hard to pick a happiest moment, let me come back to this one...

I can't seem to pick just one there are so many. I had one bride who said "i do" before it was time, so cute. I love the exits right after a couple is announced, this is often the happiest moment of the day that I see. The first dance is wonderful when they get a public private moment and just enjoy each other. There are the tears during the vows, the father-daughter dance and more. I'm fortunate that I get to be work with people on one of the happiest days of their lives and have the privilege of documenting it for generations to enjoy.

7) What was the worst?

Not a terrible thing, but at one of our weddings last year the bride got sick during the reception and had to lay on the floor in the basement resting, hoping to feel better soon. When we left she was still there. She later told me she went home and changed and felt better and came back. She was a trooper about it all and the beginning of the day was perfect though.

Oh wait, can I use my own wedding? Now that is a story.

8) Have you ever felt, from your experiences dealing with a couple about to be married that their marriage wasn't going to work out? How about the reverse?

I've never gotten a feeling that a marriage wasn't going to work, but that they were going to need to work in it. But that is normal. Most couples are on a high on their wedding day, that happiness emits to all those around them. There are many couples that I am impressed with the manner that they communicate with each other, both verbal and non-verbal. You can tell that their relationship is deep, when you get to witness and photograph that connection it is very moving.

9) How many jobs have you had in your lifetime?

I just tried to count and stopped at 18. I put myself through college and paid for my own things in high school so I have been in the work force for a while. Some of my jobs include: state pen prison guard, bus person, wait staff, pizza maker (I can toss and everything), grocery sacker, soldier and soccer coach. And I must include mom.

Weekend bonus post!

2008-05-25T17:54:00.001-07:00

I am posting an addendum to my Friday post, which you may find of interest, on the fiscal advantage of higher education. Check out this chart, which you may double click upon for increasing bigness:

In case you're wondering (I know I was) a professional degree is one which prepares you for a particular profession and is theoretically immediately useful. Advanced ones include those in divinity, medicine, dental science, and engineering, though I find it hard to believe divinity is a real moneymaker.

What Jobs Are Going to Be Big in Coming Years?

2008-05-23T21:20:00.000-07:00

The U.S. Department of Labor is brimming over with interesting factoids about what's going on with the U.S. workforce. Though I'm sure everyone out there is constantly monitoring these stats as part of their normal Web surfing, just in case you missed it here's some info you might find interesting:

Although a lot of people have the general impression that college is basically a necessity now, and a more advanced degree will make you even more money in the long run, it turns out some of the fastest-growing occupations out there don't actually require you to attend college, such as:

-retail salespersons
-customer service reps
-waiters and waitresses
-janitors and cleaners
-home health aides (not 100% sure on this one)

A lot of other professions on the list require very specialized training, like dental and health care workers.

Our buddy Steve at All Things Workplace notes:

"If you look at the top chart of the 10 occupations with the highest rate of growth, you'll see that six require either an associate or bachelor's degree while the other four require short to moderate OJT."*

*OJT = on the job training

I mean, maybe you don't want these jobs -- personally, I'm a bit too squeamish to join the medical field -- but it's good to know it's not completely hopeless if you're not the academic type.

Nonetheless, the serious bucks are reserved for those with more education. This chart shows us the average annual earnings of people with "some high school" hovers at around $23,000 while those with doctorates average over $84,000.

Swing by Monday for an interview with a wedding photographer!

Linky Wednesday

2008-05-21T19:49:00.000-07:00

A blogger proposes certain writers (John Updike, Raymond Carver) be paid not to write, possibly out of a fund created by George Soros.

The Art of Manliness recommends 100 books to make you a man -- it appears I am in danger of turning into a guy. Many of the recommendations are standard, and some I just can't abide. But how seriously can I take a site that recommends you should ask a woman's father for her hand in marriage?

I asked agent Jonathan Lyons how many times he submitted something before giving up, and he directed me to this post, which was pretty nice.

Those of you avidly following my low limit poker career will be pleased to note that I am currently ranked in the 97th percentile of all online poker players in terms of my ROI (return on investment.) I am literally playing on one computer and typing this entry into another, which is doing little to help either task.

Ahem.

2008-05-20T18:49:00.000-07:00

Bleaders*,

In keeping with my proud and somewhat accidental tradition of always putting myself in situations where I am clearly totally out of my element (note my previous appearances at an Ayn Rand lecture and the time I showed up for the Marshall McLuhan-Finnegan's Wake Club reading group hoping to "fly under the radar") I can be heard this Saturday morning at 8 AM on KRLA (NewsTalk 870) -- conservative talk radio -- on the Home Wizards show to discuss ways to get rid of Stuff Ya Don't Want**.

In the unlikely event you are here in L.A. and up at this ungodly hour, please tune in. And call in if it sounds like I need to be bailed out. I beg of you.

And, thus, for those of you who assumed I'd reached my peak of fame when I was featured in a blurry, anonymous photo on the Santa Monica Express, stop your naysaying. My ascent from total obscurity to relative obscurity continues.

In other blog news, I am officially reducing my posts from every weekday to a Monday/Wednesday/Friday schedule, a move which I'm sure affects almost no one. Unless there's breaking news, of course.

Carry on.

*Yes, people, mark your calendars. I have coined a new term. Let it be my Wikipedia legacy someday.

**my environmental website

Interview with the Evil HR Lady

2008-05-19T18:07:00.000-07:00

1) You reveal neither the company you work for nor your real name on your blog. Why do you choose to be anonymous, and what is your motivation for blogging at all under these conditions?

I actually don't care so much if people know my name, but it's important to me to keep my company anonymous. Why? Because what I write isn't about them, nor do I represent them in the blogosphere. I'm also very careful to not talk about specific situations at work.

2) How did you end up working in human resources? Was this something you actively pursued, and if so, what attracted you to this area?

I was in graduate school with the intention of becoming a political science professor because I love teaching. I found out rather rapidly that the teaching aspect of academia was not respected (at least in my program) and what was emphasized was research. Research is all fine and good, but it drove me crazy to spend thousands of hours and tens of thousands of dollars doing research which showed that "Republicans are more conservative than Democrats." Umm, thanks, but I could have told you that for free.

So, I set out to be a trainer, and figured HR was the place to do it. I still love training, although I don't do it very often any more. The development aspect of people is very appealing to me as well.

3) You occasionally talk about how some people are a little too eager to take their petty problems to HR. What do you see as legitimate concerns people should bring to you?

It's not that concerns shouldn't be brought to HR, but they should be addressed at the departmental level first. If someone is telling dirty jokes, before you come to HR have you said, "Karen, those jokes are offensive"? If you have and they haven't stopped, by all means come to HR, but if you haven't, try that first.

If an employee has a body odor problem, the manager should address the issue first. I understand that it's difficult and embarrassing and all, but think about the person. If HR shows up, that person knows that her odor has been discussed in meetings and probably the whole world knows about it. It has the potential to become a BIG DEAL when it's not.

In large organizations, HR doesn't necessarily have a relationship with all employees, so being pulled into an HR setting can cause unnecessary stress and make the person feel defensive. I'd prefer that a manager come for advice, if necessary, but that the manager should make the first attempt at handling the problem.

4) Your blog name, Evil HR Lady, shows that you recognize HR people are not always that well-liked. As someone who never goes to HR with problems, I would say it's because I know it's the job of HR to protect the company, not me. Is this an unfair perception?

It's not an unfair perception, it's just misunderstood. The primary purpose of Human Resources (in my mind) is to help the business by recruiting, developing and guiding the people. You have groups that are in charge of materials, R&D, logistics and facilities. Human Resources should be responsible for the people--frequently the largest expenditure of a business.

So, does that mean that HR is constantly causing problems for people in order to squeeze that last dime of profit out? No. (Well, it shouldn't.) It's cheaper to develop an employee than recruit and train a new one, so if we can solve a problem or help you gain a skill you lack, we're helping the business. Recruiting the best people can change a company from good to great. Performance appraisals? Everyone hates them, but they can be incredibly useful in identifying problems and solutions.

A happy workforce will be more productive than a miserable one. I see treating people well as a way to increase the business, not the other way around.

5) What would you say are some common mistakes made by applicants during the interview process?

I haven't hired people for many years, but Alison Green at Ask a Manager and US News has. I'd direct you to this article.

6) What are some common resume "red flags" that keep people from getting to the interview stage?

Not tailoring your resume to the position, typos, attitude problems, applying for jobs they are not qualified for, making unreasonable demands, etc.

7) How many jobs have you held in your lifetime?

Gee, I started babysitting when I was 11. I worked fast food in high school (I have a plaque for when I was Burger King's Employee of the Month)... Let's just say many. I've been with my current company for 7 years. During that time I've held 4 different positions. I like my current one the best.

More on young authors

2008-05-16T13:51:00.000-07:00

For those of you who need more proof that very young authors have a leg up in the publishing world, consider this excerpted bit from literary agent Jenny Rappaport's post yesterday as she sorts through her queries and decides what to follow up on:

"This query is normally something I would turn down. It's not got the most compelling hook, and it has character names that are rife with accents, which drives me bonkers. But it's got an interesting take on fairies as secret agents, the author was recently a contender in the ABNA, and the author is 16. That's good enough for me to take a look at it. I'm asking for a partial."

And check out this followup in the comments, courtesy of yours truly:

Nancy Matson said...
Just curious -- do you consider the fact that submitter #1 is 16 to be a big selling point because you think if the ms* is good she'll be more marketable?

Jenny Rappaport said...
Nancy Matson, yep, the fact that she was 16 was a huge selling point. If the book is any good, I can market it in a way that shows how young and how talented the author is. Think of Christopher Paolini.

Young authors, get those queries out there! You're aging as I write this! Oldsters, pass the whiskey.

*ms = manuscript

Have a great weekend! Monday, interview with the strangely affable Evil HR Lady.

Books are not trash

2008-05-15T11:28:00.000-07:00

On Tuesday I was walking through the neighborhood and spotted boxes of books by a dumpster in an apartment complex near my house. Being the shameless type that I am, I reached through the bars and started sorting through as best I could, plucking out a few choice volumes, until some nice man who lived in the complex took pity on me and let me in. He informed me that someone else in the building had attempted to to sell the books online, and, when it wasn't working out, left them out by the dumpster. Holy crap, neighbor. You put Dostoyevsky in the trash? And not just some marked up paperback, but a nice vintage hardcover edition? Ditto for Fitzgerald's The Last Tycoon, and A Shropshire Lad? To make matters worse, it's obvious from the bookplates that a lot of these books are from some old guy's collection -- probably someone recently deceased or moved into a nursing home. A guy who really loved books, who cut out reviews and newspaper articles about his favorite authors and put them inside the covers. A guy who actually used the blank pages of the book to write notes, such as this in The Brothers Karamazov, "I bought this handsome book ten years ago, discarding at the time a villainously printed Modern Library copy of the same masterpiece...." He then goes on to note that he tried reading the book recently "prompted by the heroics of Leningrad and Stalingrad." And you put this out by the dumpster?

I wish this was the first time I have seen a pile of old books treated so callously, but it is not. I have picked up many a fine book under similar circumstances, which offends me both as a reader and environmentalist. Is it so hard to drive a few boxes of books to your public library so they can sell them at their next book sale?

If you're in Santa Monica on Raymond just west of Highland, stop on by and reach through the bars. And, thanks, Geoffrey Wright, wherever you are, for all my new books.

Linky Wednesday

2008-05-14T14:46:00.000-07:00

Economic woes are hitting people hard. According to a new poll, one in ten people over 45 are now borrowing money for every day expenses. One-third of participants stopped putting money into their 401(k)s. Their future selves aren't going to like that at all.

David Sedaris declares his stories "real-ish" in an article in the Christian Science Monitor. He goes on to say memoir lies are pretty minor compared to the government's, so what are we getting so upset about? Ummm...okay. Not sure I buy it, but if he's clocking in at 97% accuracy as he claims, that sounds good to me.

Check out this thing my friend Mark worked on, where you can see the links between famous people. It's a great (or horrible) time waster, depending on your time constraints.

At age 106, Bill Hargrove, the oldest league bowler in the U.S., has bowled his last string.

Young Authors

2008-05-13T13:56:00.000-07:00

13-year-old Nancy Yi Fan is the most recent kid author to make a splash on the literary scene with her books from Harper Collins. Her first, Swordbird, about an evil hawk ruling the forest through meanness and intimidation, came out in 2007. She started writing it when she was only eleven, and wrote it in English -- her second language! Sword Quest, which just came out, is its prequel.

While she is the youngest such author of late (I mean, how much younger can they realistically get?) she does follow on the heels of several other very young authors who've had books published to great success. Probably the best-known is Christopher Paolini of Eragon fame, who I believe wrote his first book at fifteen. Amelia Atwater-Rhodes, who writes genre books at an incredible clip, based on this list I found on Amazon, was about the same age when she first got published.

While these kids doubtless have talent, reviews seem to suggest that they don't quite reach the standard of professional adult writers. I don't want to seem like a grump about this, like a parent, who upon being given a drawing from their child throws it back in the kid's face and yells "sub par, totally sub par! come back to me when you have something that's worth my time!" and cackling throatily, but I think it's pretty obvious that the age of these kids is a significant factor in their being published. Let's face it, Fan was on Oprah yesterday, the holy grail for authors, and I just don't think her scintillating prose was the only factor involved. A cute kid whose first book is inspired by 9/11, encouraging us all to work towards peace? While I'm not doubting this girl's sincerity, if the marketing team at Harper Collins could have ordered an author out of a catalog, she would have been their first pick.

And you know what? I think Fan's smart enough to know her worth extends beyond the value of her writing. She had the savvy to write to Jackie Chan for his help in promoting her book. And while my missives to the martial arts star go unreturned (why, Jackie, why?), her request was cheerfully fulfilled.

For those kid writers who are now adults and have continued to write, I'd be curious what they think the perks and pitfalls of being published so young is, and if they look back on some of their earlier work and wish they'd waited.

Interview with a pro* blogger

2008-05-12T13:48:00.000-07:00

In which Siel tells us all about the blogging life.

1) I know before you started blogging professionally for the LA Times you maintained (and still maintain) your own environmental blog, Green LA Girl. Did they approach you to start blogging for them, or did you see the job listed somewhere and apply?

The LA Times saw my Green LA Girl blog and contacted me about blogging for them, but I strongly disagree with the contention that my "professional" blogging only started with the Emerald City blog on LATimes.com! I'm not so much claiming that greenlagirl.com was/is so professional.... My point is that the association with an established newspaper doesn't mean that my blogging suddenly became professional -- nor does it mean that my non-LAT-associated blogging was (or is) unprofessional. I guess I have a problem with the use of the term "professional" in general -- a term which has both positive and negative connotations.

I worked for a newspaper back in the day, and certainly used a different tone than when I write for blogs now -- and I use different tones depending on which blog I'm writing for. But to term one professional and the other not brings biases to how either of my blogs -- or blogs in general -- are read, especially at a time when pretty much everyone agrees mediums are changing very rapidly.*

2) Did you have other writing experience before you started your initial blog?

Yes. Back in the day when I was an impressionable teenager, I thought I wanted to be a "traditional" print journalist. I even have a few years of college newspaper experience, an internship at the Idaho Press-Tribune, and a scholarship from the Asian American Journalists' Association to show for that phase. I also interned for a PR firm and in marketing/communications for a couple companies, all of which involved a lot of writing. But most of my writing energy in the last decade or so has gone into creative writing -- poetry, fiction, etc. Oh, and blogging.

3) How much time would you say you spend per day generating blog posts for the Times? Would you say it's close to a full-time job?

I'd say I spend between 3 - 6 hours a day, but it's really hard to say because the delineations aren't clear. For ex, I'll often attend green-themed events with friends -- which may primarily be a social thing -- but end up also taking pics and thinking about what I'm going to write about the event while I'm at the event. Or another example: I may also spend time reading a Jane Austen novel on an eBook I've been sent to review. The choice to read Jane Austen may've been my own, but the choice to read it on an eBook not so much. Does that count as time spent working on the blog? Maybe, but not strictly.....

4) Where do you get most of the information for your posts?

Emails and blogs and word of mouth.

5) Without getting too personal about your pay rate, would you say that these "pro" blogs pay competitive rates? Or is it the kind of thing that's only worth doing if it ties into something you're doing anyway?

Again, I quibble with your notion of "pro" blogs. Quite a few blogs that aren't associated with a mainstream news org are making good money, and hopefully paying its bloggers competitive rates. For ex, I also blog for BlogHer and Lime.com -- both of which are not tied to a major newspaper -- and both which pay v. competitively and treat its bloggers wonderfully. I really love the people there, and enjoy blogging for them. Of course, there are sites like Treehugger.com that have become hugely successful but still pay very crappy rates to its hardworking bloggers -- still under $15 a post, last I heard (before bonuses, which mainly go to auto/tech bloggers). If you're a total newbie blogger, this route might be a way to build writing cred, maybe. But if you already know you have good writing to offer, I think it's importantly to recognize that getting only $15 per post will only encourage you to simply crank those posts out as quickly as possible, instead of taking the time to enjoy the writing process a while more to craft and hone your post and/or engage more with the blogosphere to see what other bloggers have to say 'bout your topic of choice. IMHO, blogging joyfully for free's way better than blogging for $15 a post.

But speaking more specifically to my relationship with the LA Times, which I think is what you're really asking about: I'd say that the rate's v. competitive, but that the deal's v. different. For ex, both BlogHer and Lime.com pay per post -- while I have a set monthly salary with the LA Times. That cuts both ways -- meaning that individual posts for BlogHer and Lime usually take more time per-post, but that the LA Times blog actually creates a lot more stress and ends up being less money per post overall (if one really wants to calculate it monetarily), mainly because I feel responsible for the unity, tone, and overall success of the blog as a whole, since I'm the primary author for Emerald City.

But stepping away from the money for a second: To answer your second question, I really don't think anyone should blog -- for money or not -- if it doesn't "tie into something you're doing anyway." You gotta blog because you wanna blog, wanna write, because you're passionate about the issues you're engaging with. Otherwise, you may as well take a desk job that pays well -- It'll likely pay better, especially for beginning bloggers.

My main point is that money really shouldn't be your incentive for blogging, esp. if you're just starting out. See if you like it first, if it addicts you. What's important is not whether or not you can make money via blogging, but whether or not blogging's something you really, really enjoy and want to spend your time doing. I've recently had a friend who was making a decent living blogging quit because she ended up hating her blogging job.

6) I know you do other freelance writing, as I saw an article by you in Whole Times and you occasionally link to poems you've had published on online journals. What is your plan for the future as far as your writing goes?

The future of my writing is a hot topic of discussion between my shrink and me. I'll let you know if we come to any conclusions.

7) What would you be doing for work if you hadn't been able to get your current blogging job?

Honestly, I have no clue. The thought of working a 9-5er fills me with dread, for example. My guess is that I'd either cobble together a freelance writing career -- meaning more magazine articles -- or teach. Come August, I'll have a PhD in lit and creative writing, so I'd like to think it wouldn't be too hard to get a rewarding and satisfying gig at a community college -- we have so many of them in LA, and I'm a good teacher. It's not, however, what I'd like to do right now. I'm thankful for the bloggy life I currently have.

8) How many jobs have you held in your life?

I guess it depends what you consider a job. If you're talking full time, post-college jobs that provide health insurance (not internship or part time stints at bookstores or hotels or the like), I've had two. All the rest have been internships, or part time, or haven't provided health insurance. Meaning that in this count, none of my blogging gigs count as a "job" :)

*My distinguishing between "pro" and "not pro" was not based on the newspaper affiliation but on the simple fact of what pays and what doesn't. While there is a gray area for this, given some crappy pay rates like Treehugger and the fact that some blogs bring in varying amounts of money through ads, I wasn't saying an association with the LA Times making blogging somehow "legit." That's the kind of confusion that can arise when you interview someone over email.

Thanks for your insight, Siel!

The Pultizer prize winners -- totally worth reading

2008-05-09T19:50:00.000-07:00

This year's Pulitzer prize winning novel is Junot Diaz's "The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao," which I hear nothing but good things about. In fact, I'd have to say that when a novel wins the Pulitzer -- and I wouldn't say this for every literary prize -- you have an excellent chance of it being a good read.

Reading the announcement made me wonder, as I'm sure you often have, how many Pulitzer prize winners from the past I've actually read. Now this question which has haunted you all will finally be answered: 11.

(2004) The Known World by Edward P. Jones
(2003) Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides
(2002) Empire Falls by Richard Russo
(2001) The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay by Michael Chabon
(1997) Martin Dressler: The Tale of an American Dreamer by Steven Millhauser
(1995) The Stone Diaries by Carol Shields
(1990) The Mambo Kings Play Songs of Love by Oscar Hijuelos
(1989) Breathing Lessons by Anne Tyler
(1988) Beloved by Toni Morrison
(1986) Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry
(1984) Ironweed by William Kennedy

I have never specifically set out to read a book based on its Pulitzer status -- maybe Martin Dressler, which is relatively obscure for a Pulitzer winner but actually one of my favorites on the list -- but I was kind of shocked at how many recent ones I've read and also surprised that I've read literally no pre-1984 winners. I *may* have read To Kill A Mockingbird, but I'm not sure, so I left it off the list. Ditto The Color Purple.

It's a little bit of a bummer to see how many books from the early part of the century I've never even heard of, although a number of them were made into movies which I've seen, being the old movie fan that I am.

Which of the Pulitzer prize winning novels have you read? If you've got an opinion, comment away, you lurker types.

P.S. I find the F.A.Q. on the Pulitzer site pretty entertaining. I find it hard to believe that people are barraging the Pulitzer committee with questions like "Who designed the Pulitzer Prize medal?" to the extent that this made the list of frequently asked questions. Shows how out of the loop I am.

Come back on Monday to read an interview with a professional blogger.

I See Dead People's Books at the Library Thing

2008-05-08T19:06:00.000-07:00

Guess what I learned at the Library Thing?

That Tupac Shakur was an avid reader, and enjoyed classics such as 1984 and The Catcher in the Rye. I was also interested to note his collection included Sisterhood is Powerful, books on buddhism and Nostradamus, as well as the cult classic Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance.

Sylvia Plath's collection is also worth a look. I knew she was very domestic so it was no surprise to find a Dr. Spock book in her collection, with a lot of stuff about breast feeding underlined. However, I was a little surprised to find the Book of Mormon.

Of course, just because a book is in someone's library doesn't mean they're a big fan of it, or have even read it. Still, you can get an overall sense of someone's interests from these lists. Totally worth a look, if you're a book nerd like me.

Linky Wednesday

2008-05-07T18:57:00.000-07:00

If you want to sign a petition condemning Senator McCain's comment about how women need more "education and training" instead of supporting their legal rights by voting for the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act, you can do so here. You can read about the case of Lilly Ledbetter in a previous blog post.

James Frey, the memoir writer that launched the modern-day memoir scandals, is now guest blogging on Amazon as his new novel, Bright Shiny Morning, is released. There is a lengthy article in this month's Vanity Fair on the story behind the story of his rise, downfall, and ostracism over A Million Little Pieces. No big shockers, but I am willing to believe he was no the only one who knew it wasn't all strictly true, and that others were cheerfully willing to go along, anyway, in the name of big bucks.

New college grads are going to have a tough time finding jobs in these pre-recession times, according to an article by the Christian Science Monitor.

The Independent Women's Forum, whose study I cited in yesterday's post, turns out to be even more right wing than I imagined. They started off as an organization called Women for Clarence Thomas, presumably to support the Supreme Court justice who was famously accused of harassing fellow attorney Anita Hill. If anyone knows of a study that shows similar results from a less biased source, I'd love to hear about it.

Also, did you know that buried treasure was discovered off the coast of Namibia from around 1500? Coins, bronze, elephant tusks. Booty in its original sense. Pretty damn cool.

And a plug for interviewee of a few weeks ago Stephen Brend and his crew at the Orangutan Foundation in Borneo: They're trying to buy a new enclosure for the baby orangutans, since the old one is all rusted out and they got out! If you donate on their site, that money specifically goes to them. They need around $3,000. I gave them $50.

The male-female wage gap

2008-05-06T18:46:00.000-07:00

Since the Lilly Ledbetter story broke, I've been curious to see what the changes in the male-female wage gap are over recent decades. A 2004 study of male and female full-time year-round employees indicates that everything hasn't miraculously evened out in the last few decades. As of that year, women were making 76.5% of men's wages. It is difficult to figure out how much of that gap is due to different career choices between the sexes and how much is due to discrimination. The Independent Women's Forum claims that women earn 98% of men's wages when you're looking at people with the same experience, number of years on the job, and educational background. However, a study by economists of graduates of the Michigan Law School which analyzed the data according to occupation, age, experience, and time in the workforce concluded that women were still only paid 81.5% of what men with similar characteristics were. There are still many high-profile cases, such as the class action lawsuit at Wal-Mart, which indicate that unequal treatment between the sexes can still be a systemic problem. Check out this chart comparing wages of female and male Wal-Mart workers at every level. (Damn. I had no idea you could make that much as a Wal-Mart manager. Even the women getting the shaft are still making way more than I am.)

Not surprisingly, there are far worse economic hurdles for women of color than for white women.An article about salaries in Washington D.C. states that while the male/female wage gap is smallest in our nation's capital, the median salary for black women is a full $20,000/year (!) less than for white women. Not a very uplifting statistic, especially if you're part of that demographic.

Interview with a private investigator

2008-05-05T13:26:00.000-07:00

I found Paul Massimillo of Long Island Investigations via his informative blog. If you want more information about the world of private investigation, or are in Long Island needing this service, I suggest you check him out!

1. What are the most common types of investigations you do?

Insurance fraud and matrimonial infidelity cases pretty much run neck-and-neck these days, followed by property and asset searches.

2. When you're investigating infidelity cases, how often is it that your client is correct in their suspicions?

I keep no formal statistics, but an approximation would be somewhere around 95% of the time the suspicions are warranted.

3. How has technology impacted the world of private investigations?

Technology has impacted this industry in several ways. For one, the use of modern GPS trackers makes surveillance much easier. The devices must only be used, though, when written permission is granted by the vehicle owner. Also, the use of modern infra-red or "night vision" equipment basically lets us see in the dark. Just a few years back, this wasn't so. Early infra-red was not as good as today's. It is so advanced now that we can use night vision along with high definition video.

Of course, the major change in recent times would be the use of the computer, or should I say the integration of databases available to private investigators through a web interface. It has made locating people, assets, court cases, crime stats and a world of other information much easier to obtain.

4. Do clients sometimes ask you to do illegal things?

There have been times when clients have asked us to break the law. In most cases, this is due to the client's lack of knowledge with regard to recording devices. We are asked quite often to secretly record phone calls or check cell phone records. Of course, it is illegal and we simply inform the client of this fact and suggest alternative investigative options.

5. What do you actually do during a typical investigation? Is it mostly field work, research, or a combination?

It is mostly field work; good old fashioned surveillance is still what we do the most. Following subjects, obtaining video and documenting their every move is still basically the staple of most of our cases. Of course, we do a ton of research type cases also. For example, background searches, criminal records, property searches and asset locates are all done
at a desk in front of a computer monitor.

6. What is the biggest misconception about private investigators?

In my experience, "what an exciting job" is the biggest misconception in the industry. People see TV shows about PI's, and like most real life/TV comparisons, it is like night and day. Exciting it is not! Especially to myself and my investigators who are all former NYPD. PI work can be very boring and the hours can be long.

7. How many jobs have you held in your life?

Like most people, I had a few jobs early on in life until I found a home working for American Honda in its infancy years of automobiles. Then, of course, I spent a bit over 20 years with the NYPD. After retiring from there, I opened Long Island Investigations.

Video from press kit of fake memoir writer unearthed

2008-05-02T00:25:00.000-07:00

Margaret Seltzer, who wrote the "memoir" of her life growing up in gangland L.A., Love and Consequences, only to have it debunked shortly before its release, can be seen in her electronic press kit talking about her supposed experiences. It gives you some insight into how deep into this whole storyline she was.

Now everyone's talking about her accent is weird and it is so obvious that she was lying the whole time. Maybe I'm just a sucker, but I don't get that at all. I mean her accent is a little strange, but people don't always sound like where they're from (I know I don't). I think she's fairly convincing, and I think she really believes what she's saying.

Workin' It blog historians will note that my fearful prediction on my first post about this blog devolving into pictures of cute animals and youtube links is one step closer to reality. All I can say is: don't judge me, blogosphere!

Check back on Monday for my Q & A with a private investigator. You know you're curious.

Atheist soldier sues following harassment

2008-05-01T18:26:00.000-07:00

Atheist soldier Jeremy Hall is suing the army because he claims he's been harassed about his beliefs and prevented by his superiors from conducting meetings with other fellow atheists. Hall's personal beliefs came out when he was in Iraq and was asked if he believed in God after taking a few bullets on his protective shield. He replied that he did not, but he "believed in Plexiglass."

As an atheist myself, I think that atheism could easily be the next big discrimination issue. While I have never had any serious work-related problems related to my nontheism, I am really quite surprised sometimes at how completely put off people can be by the realization that someone doesn't believe in God. I remember mentioning my stance casually at a job about ten years ago, not thinking much of it, and was surprised when the news created quite a stir. People felt like it was completely fine to make jokes about it, and one of my co-workers drew a lightning bolt on the board to indicate God's wrath coming down on me. Another of my co-workers made a point of proselytizing to me for weeks afterward, trying to convince me that the world showed clear evidence of God's design, and that all morals came from faith. I am not especially thin-skinned, but how can I not be insulted when told that I have no moral compass? I think we can all agree that if I had claimed to be a member of some obscure religous sect, I would not have inspired this kind of behavior.

This is a very American problem, since the U.S. is such a religious country. In other countries being atheist/agnostic is the norm. In Japan, 64% of the population falls under this category, in Germany, almost 50%. In the U.S., somewhere between three and nine percent of the population is atheist or agnostic. Only about 2% call themselves atheists and completely reject the idea of God. According to polls, we're regarded with suspicion and dislike. Atheists are the minority group that most Americans are least willing to have their children marry.

A 2007 poll also shows that 53% of Americans would not vote for an atheist president on the basis of that one fact alone. That puts us behind old people, Mormons and homosexuals by a large margin.

(Also, for people who still believe sexism is a complete non-issue in the current campaign, the poll also notes that 11% of those polled freely admitted they would not vote for a woman, while only 5% said the same for a (presumably male) African-American man.)

Linky Wednesday

2008-04-30T13:06:00.000-07:00

The New York Times has an interesting article about the proliferation of writers over readers.

The Evil HR Lady writes about why HR people can't have friends at work, and provides a useful look into the mindset of an HR worker.

The Brazen Careerist tells us how to find out if we're going to get promoted.

And, just for fun, see if anyone riding the New York subway has a crush on you! Some of these postings are really sweet, like:

"last wednesday the 23rd about 5:30 pm. you were tall with dyed blond hair, big black headphones, red lipstick, wearing a black and gray striped top and black dresspants. I wanted to say something but the train was so packed it was hard to get near you. I was wearing a Dead Kennedy's t-shirt and black dresspants, while reading 'Alice in Wodnerland'. just hoping that I get to see you again sometime. and hopefully we can talk."

Good luck lovestruck guy riding the L!

Screwed Over x 3, Lilly Ledbetter

2008-04-29T13:02:00.000-07:00

1) For two decades Lilly Ledbetter worked for Goodyear Tire as an area manager, earning between 14% and 30% less than her male counterparts. She was expressly barred by Goodyear to discuss her salary with co-workers, and didn't know what was happening until someone took pity on her and left her an anonymous memo.

2) A jury awarded her back pay and punitive damages under Title VII, a judgement which was later overturned by the Supreme Court. on the basis that she did not file it within 180 days of her first paycheck -- an opinion the sole female Justice declared to be a "parsimonious reading of Title VII."

3) The sheer lameness of this inspired the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act of 2007, which expanded the timeline for filing such a suit. It passed in the House and was shot down last week in the Senate. Senator McCain didn't even bother to show up for the vote, and said that women don't need this legislation but simply more "education and training," hardly relevant to a case where a woman works in a job for 19 years that would have paid a lot better if she'd only had the foresight to develop a Y chromosome. It also ignores the fact that the 77 cents women make on every dollar men do is based on doing the same work. Is he really suggesting that women are only worth 77 cents on the dollar because of their poor education and training?

George Bush was all set to veto the bill, anyway.

Here are some excerpts from her testimony:

"The plant manager flat out said that women shouldn’t be working in a tire factory because women just made trouble."

"One of my supervisors asked me to go down to a local hotel with him and promised if I did, I would get good evaluations. He said if I didn’t, I would get put at the bottom of the list. I didn’t say anything at first because I wanted to try to work it out and fit in without making waves."

Nice work, U.S. government. And you wonder why people don't trust you.

Interview with the One-Week Job Guy, Sean Aiken

2008-04-28T12:50:00.000-07:00

Recent college graduate Sean Aiken decided to work a different job every week for a whole year so he could figure out what he truly wanted to do with his life. He detailed his adventures on his blog, and you can also read about it in his upcoming book on the subject. He agreed to answer a few questions on his experience for Workin' It.

1. Now that you've completed all your one-week jobs, would you say that this process actually helped you decide what you want to do for a career, or was it more of a fun project unto itself?

Yeah, definitely. Wherever I end up, I want to be in a situation where I feel as though what I am doing matters, where I am helping others in some capacity and not simply the bottom line of the company I am working for. It appears as though in searching for my passion, I may have found one in inspiring others to go after theirs. it was not about finding the perfect job so much as about finding the characteristics i am looking for in a career. And yes, it was a fun project as well.

2. Which of the jobs you took seemed like something you'd actually enjoy doing and/or be good at over the long-term?

I don't see myself in any career for more than a few years, though I could do many of them. Cancer Fundraiser, Advertising Executive, and TV Show host are ones I could definitely do.

3. Which jobs do you feel pretty confident are not for you?

Cattail picking in a swamp, jobs that require you to always be in the same office environment day-to-day.

4. I notice you got a book deal with Penguin out of this project and are also working on a documentary. Congratulations! Does this mean you won't be looking for a regular job anytime soon? Or do you plan on pursuing writing and/or filmmaking as a long-term career?

A regular job. Hmm. What's a regular job? After the book/doc comes out, I would like to speak with youth about my experience and what I learned. Also, it might turn into a TV series, so that is a possibility as well.

5. Your project turned into a real phenomenon, but for the first few weeks it must have been a lot harder to get people to give you jobs. How'd you get the first few?

I sent out the website to friends and family and asked that they send it along. My first job was through my soccer coach. He owned the bungee jumping company and liked the idea. The media picked up on the project before I had started my first job so there was an awareness early on.

6. I can see the benefit to you of working at all these places. What was the motivation for the employers who gave you these jobs?

I think it is something that everyone can relate to in some way or another. Whether you are in my situation, unsure of what career path to choose, or perhaps of an older generation who wish they had done something similar, or those who are stuck in an unhappy workplace situation. I think that at some point in all our lives, we have to ask ourselves what it is we want to do with our life.

They would get the publicity of having me work there for the week, they are donating to a good cause, they sympathize with being in my situation and want to share their experience. Employers decided to hire me for different reasons I guess.

7. Were there any job offers you turned down. Why?

I have enough job offers that I could continue to do the project for three years, so I turned down many. I tried to pick jobs based on the email or conversation I had with the employer, whether they were excited to get involved, whether I thought I would learn something new. Logistics were a factor.

8. What surprised you most about your experience?

The willingness of everyone to get involved; to open up their homes, businesses, and lives to me. Without them, there wouldn't have been much of an experience at all.

Thanks, Sean!

Excerpt from an interview with Augusten Burroughs

2008-04-26T00:01:00.000-07:00

Famed memoir writer Augusten Burroughs is interviewed by goodreads.com this month, and I thought he had a few interesting things to say about the trend of outed inaccuracies in memoirs. I found the exchange below funny for both the unbelievably softball questions and the great way Burroughs answered it, anyway. As he noted he, too, has been criticized for inaccuracies in his books, and apparently settled out of court with the family portrayed in Running With Scissors (though that doesn't really prove anything one way or the other.) Perhaps even more accusations will emerge as he promotes his newest book, A Wolf at the Table, all about his dad.

GR: Memoir scandals have become almost cliché in the publishing industry lately. What's the big deal? Why do you think there's such a feeding frenzy around a memoir's degree of truth? Is truth subjective? Shouldn't a writer have license to present the story of his life as he sees fit?

AB: It's almost like, when a certain breed of dog becomes really popular after winning Westminster, all of a sudden, these cretins spring up from out of nowhere and they grab a couple of dogs and start making them over and over and over, generating genetically weaker and more defective animals, all because they are trying to cash in. So it's like there's this new crop of puppy pill memoirists. Of course, some people have accused me of this very thing, of making things up and lying and selling my soul to the devil. And I always feel like, "Can't people tell a true train wreck when they see one?"

On Monday: interview with a guy who held one new job a week for a whole year. Have a great weekend!

Poker Pro Phil Gordon speaks

2008-04-24T19:15:00.000-07:00

Well-known poker pro and author Phil Gordon answered numerous questions about the game on a recent Freakonomics blog post. After my recent interview with a poker professional you may be interested in a few more details about what it's like to playing poker for a living.

Here are a few highlights:

"Ninety percent of the "professional players" I know have some serious "leaks" that affect their ability to hold on to their money."

"...If I had to guess, I would say about 50 percent of the "name pros" you see on television on a regular basis have a negative net worth. Frightening, I know."

"To make $100,000 a year playing poker, I'd have to play about five hours a week."

"I have a simple theory: change 10 river cards in any poker player’s tournament career and I would bet that they would be a losing tournament player for their career."

So there you go. It's not all wine and roses even for the pros. You know, except for the $100,000 part.

Linky Wednesday

2008-04-23T20:12:00.000-07:00

Edna Parker, the oldest person in the world is turned 115 on Sunday. There is also a new study about the oldest Americans being the happiest. Following that logic, we all know who is pretty much delirious right now.

There was an LA Times story a few days back about how retiring baby boomers might leave L.A. with a shortage of skilled workers to fill all the necessary jobs. Those of you who want to enter the medical field in Southern California, get crackin'.

Laura and Jenna Bush have combined forces to write a children's book about a mischevious boy who learns how fun reading is. Oh, the irony. One wonders if perhaps this message might be gotten across by simply supplying children with enjoyable, quality books.

I wonder if it will get awkward at author gatherings when publishing types start complaining about the Bush administration's 2009 budget which eliminates funding for Reading is Fundamental.

Agent Nathan Bransford reminds us all why it pays for authors to be nice.

And, in honor of our Monday interviewee, I will note that two Girl Scouts have refused to sell cookies upon discovering that the tasty Tagalong contains palm oil, an oil that generally goes hand in hand with destruction of orangutan habitat. Nice work, America's youth!

I LOVE linky Wednesday!

Odd Job Alert: Spinning -- it's not just an exercise class

2008-04-22T20:58:00.000-07:00

You know those people who flip around signs advertising businesses as you drive by and try to ignore them? The better trained among them, those who can perform the "Helicopter" and "Spanking the Horse" with panache, can earn up to $22/hour. These people are called "spinners," and the kings of the genre are two guys who employ 300 of these advertising professionals at Aarrow Advertising. This might be more of a west coast thing, since you can do this year-round here. If you live in L.A. I know you know what I'm talking about.

You know how they get most of their new recruits? People who are overcome with the awesomeness of it all ask the spinners where they can sign up. I'm sure with the recession looming, the number of inquiries will be dramatically increasing.

Now you know.

Interview with an orangutan conservationist

2008-04-21T19:30:00.000-07:00

As some of you may already know, I am a huge primate fan and a particular one of the orangutan, so I'm pretty excited about this interview with someone who works with these guys up close and personal in Indonesian Borneo!

1. What is your name and job?

Stephen Brend, Senior Conservationist, Orangutan Foundation.

2. What do you actually do on a day-to-day basis?

I spend way too much time behind my desk writing reports, checking budgets and preparing grant proposals. However, I try to get into the field once a week to either check on the Release Camps, Guard Posts or the progress of our reforestation project. If there are any visiting researchers here I always try to spend some time with them. A couple of times a month I will go to the Orangutan Care Centre and Quarantine facility. Depending on the season, I may also be called upon to show visitors around, give interviews to journalists of assist with film crews.

3. What does most of the rest of the local staff of the Orangutan Foundation do?

We have over 70 local staff members.

• The majority are field assistants who monitor the rehabilitated orangutans.
• Next come guard post staff. We support three posts in Tanjung Puting National Park and five in the Lamandau Wildlife Reserve. Each post has two to three staff members whose job is to stop people entering the protected areas illegally.
• We have scientific field assistants who work with visiting researchers as well as staff specifically assigned to reforestation projects.
• At the managerial level each camp has a ‘wakil’ or supervisor; there are guard post supervisors and the Information Centre supervisor who works in Camp Leakey.
• The Research Station has its own manger, Devis.
• Tigor is in charge of the five release camps and Uduk is his Deputy.
• A man called Jak manages the Lamandau Wildlife Reserve guard posts and patrols.
• Communication, negotiation and planning with local and central government are coordinated by our Liaison Officer, Mrs Astri.
• I have an Indonesian counterpart, Bhayu, who helps me in hundreds of big ways and thousands of small ones.
• We are all backed up by boat and car drivers.
• Last, but by no means least, comes Uli our Office and Finance Manager without whom truly very little would get done!

4. How much time do you spend working directly with the orangutans?

Nowhere near enough! I think I can honestly claim to see orangutans every week, unless it is a particularly bad week in the office. If I wanted to I could see them every day at the Care Centre, which receives orphaned, confiscated or infant orangutans but I much prefer to see them free ranging at the Release Camps, or best of all wild in the forest.

5. I know one of the greatest threats to orangutan's survival is the erosion of their habitat. Can you tell me what your organization is doing to combat this problem?

The Orangutan Foundation believes conservation need not be complicated – it is simply a matter of saving habitat. We do this directly through fire-fighting and the guard posts and patrols in Tanjung Puting National Park and Lamandau Wildlife Reserve. Indirectly we work on coalition building, working with other foreign and local NGOs, government bodies and, where necessary, commercial interests such as timber companies. Some of the areas in which we work include:

Belantikan: Working with an Indonesian partner organisation YAYORIN, we have begun the first ever conservation work in the Belantikan Hulu Region of Central Kalimantan – home to the largest population of orangutans outside of a protected area. The Belantikan region is threatened by unsustainable logging, mining and conversion to oil palm.

Ecotourism and Sustainable Livelihoods – The Foundation encourages the development of environmentally friendly employment and income generating opportunities, to lessen the demands local people make on the forest.

Rehabilitation and Release - Releasing orangutans provides a tangible reason to argue for increased protection for the Lamandau Wildlife Reserve’s threatened forests.

6. What can readers of this interview do to help your efforts?

I would encourage everyone to write to their local supermarket manager, or even better the CEO of a supermarket chain, to urge them to join the Round Table on Sustainable Palm Oil (www.sustainable-palmoil.org). The RSPO is the only body pushing for green-labeling/certification of palm-oil production something which is urgently needed as the conversion of rainforest to oil palm plantations is the greatest single threat to orangutan habitat. In the UK, palm oil is found in 10% of all supermarket products and demand for the oil is set to increase.

7. What is the best part of your job?

The variety. My job is a mix of physical work – trekking in the forest -- and brain work - conservation planning. There are small, interesting science projects, hands-on work with orangutans and, overall, enough field time. Truly, I never get bored.

8. What is the most difficult part of your job?

Coping with the depressing sense of two steps forward, one back. I know for every tree we save, another one is lost somewhere.

9. How many jobs have you held in your lifetime?

About a dozen – mostly awful ones done as a student or to support me while volunteering. In “career” terms I have taken part in an expedition to Kenya, worked on conservation projects in Nigeria and the Middle East and run a small primate and welfare conservation charity in the UK.

Visit Stephen's blog if you want to learn more about his work with the orangutans. If you're feeling sporty, throw him a donation so he and the rest of the team there can continue their work!

Self-Publishing -- It's Just Not The Same

2008-04-18T19:48:00.000-07:00

Several times in the past few years people have told me they're writing a book and are planning on self-publishing it. Not that they haven't been able to get it published through the traditional route and have decided to put the book out themselves as a last resort, but that they are choosing self-publishing as their first option. In almost every case, I think this is a pretty bad idea.

There are a few very rare instances when self-publishing might make sense. Let's say you're a popular lecturer and can sell books when you're on the circuit. Or maybe you're an expert in some field, like knitting, and you can sell your book through your uber-popular knitting blog. Then I could see it. But if you're some unknown who has written a novel or a memoir, you're facing a brutal uphill battle with your self-published book. It will be almost impossible to get it into stores, no one will review it, and you will have a very hard time getting anyone in the book world to take you seriously. You know why? Because while there are doubtless a few great, overlooked books in the self-publishing world, most of them are quite terrible. The anonymous mid-list author at POD-dy MOUTH, who stalwartly went through thousands of self-published titles to find the best ones (and ultimately, in 2007, gave up in exhaustion) found a few needles in the haystack (thus the name of her annual "Needle Award") but acknowledged that most of everything she came across was utter crap.

If you've exhausted all your official publishing options and can't stand for your book to go unread, go for it. But don't expect it's going to be easy. But I would advise you not to go the bitter route of this Canadian writer who has made his novel available for free downloading:

"Sixty-five fucking idiot editors and even more literary agents took a pass on this novel, would not give it even two minutes of their priceless time. The only courtesy most of them extended me was a form rejection letter."

It really doesn't help your case.

Jobs From The Past: Mill Girl

2008-04-17T18:52:00.000-07:00

I am launching this new feature to make you all feel better about your current gig, whatever it is.

Mill Girls of Lowell, Massachusetts

In the 1830s through the Civil War, textile mills, notably the ones in my home state, recruited girls and young women to work in their factories. This demographic wasn't exactly flooded with decent work options, so a lot of these women were happy to have the option of this employment despite the crummy working conditions.

Hours: Fourteen hours a day, from 5 a.m. to 7 p.m., on weekdays. Eight hours on Saturday. Sundays off for church, of course.

Living Conditions: All unmarried girls and women were required to live in boardinghouses where their behavior was monitored for moral infractions.

Wages: $1.00 - $3.50 per week, about half of which was deducted for room and board.

Motivation: According to one former mill girl: "The most prevailing incentive to labor was to secure the means of education for some male member of the family. To make a gentleman of a brother or a son, to give him a college education..."

Other reports of the time note that some girls were saving for their dowries.

Major drawbacks (that are not already obvious): The looms were so loud that it caused loss of hearing in many of the girls. Also, all the windows in the mills were nailed shut, causing workers to suffer from major respiratory ailments from all the bits of lint they inhaled.

Impressive fact: They protested and ultimately went on strike when
informed their wages were to be reduced. As The Boston Transcript of 1834 snottily put it "...they marched about town, to the amusement of a mob of idlers and boys, and we are sorry to add, not altogether to the credit of Yankee girls..."

Literary Tie-in: The girls put out a literary magazine of their writing, the Lowell Offering, a fact which stands as a gentle rebuke to people who claim they have no time to write.

While the hours did improve over the decades, the work got harder. Mill owners ultimately required girls to tend three or four looms instead of one. By 1860 the demographics of the mills had shifted with immigrants, many of them Irish people fleeing the potato famine of 1846-1848, taking over these jobs.

Drawback of this series: I will now attract kids looking to use this blog entry to crib their homework from.

Linky Wednesday

2008-04-16T19:02:00.000-07:00

Blog reader Bob Estes emailed me to let me know that he had a blog post which discusses the issue of the dangerousness of being president of the U.S.. He also notes that the blog I previously linked to on the topic was innaccurate. "The number you quoted for presidential fatality rate is roughly four times too great because the occupational fatality rates to which it is being compared are given as an annual rates. Thus one needs to take into account the average time in office for the presidents." Thanks, Bob!

Thomas Kohnstamm's confessed plagiarism of the esteemed Lonely Planet guidebooks is causing problems for the publisher. He claims to have not even traveled to Columbia to write his part in that guidebook, although it appears now that he may have only written the historical section, which doesn't actually require you to go anywhere, and he has made his confession just as his book, Do Travel Writers Go to Hell?, has been released. So who knows.

Millionaire Matchmaker's Patti Stanger scored a six-figure book deal. Some of you may know I am weirdly obsessed with this show in which millionaire guys are matched with their potential true loves -- loves, which, of course, are all way younger and hotter than them, because that's how this soul mate stuff works. Women who want to apply to be in the dating pool for this service must submit headshots along with their resumes. An excellent post on Galley Cat notes Stanger's matchmaking agency "renders every Gender Studies major's thesis about how 'dating' is a form of socially-sanctioned prostitution redundant." My favorite of Patti's dating commandments? "Thou shalt not be a gold digger. Never ask or hint for anything of monetary value. If a gentleman offers to buy you a designer watch or handbag or anything else of worth you may accept -- but DO NOT bring up the subject."

I can only wonder how Patti's rules would work if she offered a similar service for millionaire women.

I found this entertaining rant about literary magazines over at Wet Asphalt. I like that someone even cares enough to rant about the subject.

And, finally, what could I possibly add to the simple piece of information that a Florida plastic surgeon has written a picture book for kids whose mothers have recently had plastic surgery called My Beautiful Mommy? I think it's safe to assume it's self-published -- and probably selling way more copies than a lot of published books.

Publishing Industry Buzz

2008-04-15T19:13:00.000-07:00

This might be a little too insider-y to be of interest to everyone, but the news that big publishing company HarperCollins is forming a unit that offers authors profit-sharing instead of advances has literally been, if I may use the parlance of our times, all over the blogosphere for the last few weeks.

Almost everyone agrees that publishing is trapped in the past in terms of its business practices, and needs to undergo pretty radical changes if it doesn't want to start a music industry style meltdown. And I do understand the complaint that the publishing industry sometimes pays these crazy huge advances (money they assume they'll recoup when the sales kick in) that never earn out. However, virtually all published authors receive very small advances. A debut novel typically gets somewhere around $10,000 - $15,000, even when picked up by a big publishing house.

Consider the best case timeline for authors when no advances are involved. Let's say it takes a year to write the book (which is actually pretty fast.) Then it takes six months to sell it. Then it gets accepted for publication and comes out a year later. In the current system you don't even get a royalty statement for at least six months after the book comes out. That means three years from when you start writing to seeing any money at all -- if all goes extremely well. that makes publishing a perfect hobby for the literate trust fund kid.

And who knows how this profit-sharing is really calculated? It says 50/50 net profits, but in Hollywood everyone knows that can't be trusted. That's why you get your money up front.

It's up!

2008-04-14T18:37:00.000-07:00

Another of my essays in the Workin' It series is now available for your perusal. Check out "Big Dogs and Asian Butts" at Eclectica Magazine.

Interview with a professional poker player

2008-04-14T18:33:00.000-07:00

1. What is your name, and what is your job?

I prefer to keep some anonymity so for all intents and purposes my name is Kai. I play poker and use the money that I win to pay my bills. Some would call me a poker professional, some would call me a lucrative hobbyist and others a lucky schmuck. Take your pick.

2. Do you play both live and online?

I play both and enjoy both. A majority of my play is online because there really aren't any games in the local casinos that are big enough. The majority of my live play is during the World Series when I go down to Vegas for a month.

3. How many games do you play simultaneously when you're online?

Depends. When I play heads up or higher stakes, I tend to play fewer games at a time. If I play lower stakes I tend to play more games. But usually somewhere in the six to eight range.

4. What's the best part of your job?

On the professional side, obviously the money. On the social side, I'd have to say just the freedom of lifestyle. Being able to wake up at noon everyday, go golfing or vacationing whenever I want.

5. What's the worst part?

Pokerwise, I'd have to say the worst part is the long losing streaks. They happen (frequently in fact) and are immensely tough on the psyche. Personally, it's kinda tough to meet new people playing cards. Playing online for a job doesn't really allow you to expand your social inner circle, and, quite frankly, the people you meet at the live poker table aren't usually people you want to be friends with away from the poker table.

6. What do you think the biggest misconceptions are about playing poker professionally?

I think the biggest misconception about poker pros for the absolute layman is the skill set required for playing poker successfully. Often I hear comments like "He would be good at poker because he's got the poker face" "I've got his tell" or "You must be good at bluffing." You know, the stuff that's been perpetuated for decades by bad movies and TV shows. The layperson or recreational player just doesn't understand the psychology, the complicated math (its not just 48% to 52% coinflips like you see on TV), the meta game theory and other nuances that go into the decision making process.

7. Do you know a lot of other professional poker players? Would you say there's a sense of community among people who make their living this way?

I know quite a few but it's not like we have a treehouse clubhouse where we meet weekly. I have some good friends as well as a brother who play for a living. We bounce ideas off each other and it's nice to be able to talk to people that understand the ups and downs that go with the lifestyle.

8. How many other jobs have you had in your lifetime?

As a teenager I worked in a fast-food joint and as a university student I worked in a photo lab.

If you want to learn more about Kai, visit him at his blog. For a little more info on the world of professional poker playing, visit my earlier post on the subject.

I got another essay accepted!

2008-04-12T20:16:00.000-07:00

I am pleased to announce that another one of my essays from the Workin' It series has been accepted, this time by Eclectica Magazine. Big Dogs and Asian Butts, the story of a co-worker at a low-end L.A. production company that drove me mad with her chattiness, will appear in the next few weeks. Of course I will post here as soon as it's up.

Vocation Vacation

2008-04-11T19:21:00.000-07:00

I stumbled across this website called VocationVacation in which people are given a chance to try out a career for a few days that they think might interest them. It's both expensive, and, I fear, a little hokey. Is it really worth $1349 to spend two days with some L.A. actor, tagging along with him on auditions (if he has any) and getting acting tips learning "the secrets of success" of the film industry? Is this going to get anyone anywhere?

I have to admit, spending two days with a wildlife rehabilitator in Washington feeding and providing medical treatment to animals in need sounds pretty nice.

Personally, I'd rather find a place to volunteer on a more long-basis if I was really interested in something big career move. But perhaps if you've got the cash and are very pressed for time, this might be a viable option.

Does this appeal to anyone?

Come back Monday for an interview with a professional poker player.

Most Dangerous Jobs

2008-04-10T20:18:00.000-07:00

Shows like Deadliest Catch ask the question: How much risk are you willing to put up with to collect a paycheck? Working at an unfulfilling or low-paying job can really put a crimp in your day, but when you combine those two elements with the added bonus of a potential injury or death -- well, that's where the magic really happens. Sure, aircraft pilots and flight engineers still clock in high on the danger-meter, but both fishing workers (on average) and timber cutters beat them out on that score, and get paid a whole lot less. Here are the average salaries of the five most dangerous professions, according to Career Builder:

Fishers and related fishing workers: $19,104
Aircraft pilots and flight engineers: $129,250
Logging workers: $22,320
Structural iron and steel workers: $39,168
Refuse and recyclable material collectors: $23,770

Across the Great Divide points out that U.S. President is more dangerous than any of those professions, with 9,302 deaths per 100,000 workers, versus only 118 for timber cutters. (I guess you could argue that there isn't enough of a sample to really judge this, but it is an interesting statistic.)

Illegal professions are not considered in these statistics from the Bureau of Labor, but the Freakonomics authors estimate that the chances of a drug dealer being killed over a four year period is 25%. And the average salary of these illegal workers comes to a bleak $3.03 an hour.

Random Wednesday

2008-04-08T21:42:00.000-07:00

Gertrude Baines has become, at 114 and change, the third oldest person in the world. She lives tantalizingly near me, but is apparently too busy watching Jerry Springer and complaining about the crispness of her bacon to invite me over. She is so old she is actually the daughter of former slaves. That's old, people.

Edna Parker, the second oldest person in the world, hangs on in her Indiana retirement home, where she coexists with the second tallest living woman. That is one crazy place.

Meanwhile, 60s folk icon Art Garfunkel continues to compulsively list every book he has read since June of 1968. He lists his favorites, which are virtually all high-minded classics such as Ulysses and War and Peace, with the notable exception of Carrie Fisher's Postcards from the Edge. Fisher, you may recall, who was once married to Paul Simon. Am I alone in finding this hilarious?

Longtime literary agent Lori Perkins writes about the depressing reality of published authors whose poor sales records make it impossible for them to get an agent.

And, in the I'm-not-surprised-at-all department, the Lori Gottlieb article for The Atlantic "Marry Him! The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough" discussed earlier on this blog is not only going to be turned into a book but possibly a movie. Who wants to bet that if Tobey Maguire does make this thing it will ironically become a chick flick in which a hot single 31-year-old mom who's ready to settle for marrying a closet case with halitosis meets the perfect guy -- just when she least expects it!

More "non-fiction" scandal

2008-04-08T19:46:00.000-07:00

There is a grim satisfaction in knowing I called this one. (I swear, I've got a witness.) It turns out that the best-selling supposedly true story of the M.I.T. teams who rocked Vegas with their card counting and took them for millions...well, it isn't totally made up, but a lot of it is. Bringing Down the House by Ben Mezrich which was the basis for the movie "21" has been exposed by the Boston Globe as "embellished beyond recognition." And that analysis comes from a pretty impeccable source -- the students the story is supposedly based on.

I read this book, as well as the followup book, Busting Vegas, and by the end of the followup I was skeptical about the entire enterprise. Both stories are way too perfect, with just the right plot twists, elements of danger, and even a convenient love interest. Turns out Mezrich felt fine about inventing composite characters and combining events, and making certain things out of whole cloth. Apparently only one character in the book, Kevin Lewis, is based on a real person, Jeff Ma. And Ma was as surprised as readers going in cold at some of his supposed antics.

I was particularly interested to hear that the violence the team faces in both books at the hands of casino security is a complete fabrication, as it struck me as pretty unlikely.

Best part of the article? When Mezrich cites well-respected narrative nonfiction writer Sebastian Jung (Perfect Storm) as people who use composite characters, and says that the genre couldn't exist without the device. Turns out Jung doesn't approve of the practice at all. "It's lying," he said. It's the most satisfying takedown since Woody Allen corrals Marshall McLuhan into shutting down that guy in the movie line in Annie Hall.

The books are a fun read, and I don't get why Mezrich and his publishers couldn't have just said it was inspired by a true story and left it at that.

Back to work on another of my job stories. It's one in which I work for the circus and end up being the first person to land on the moon -- it's sort of a composite of me and Buzz Aldrin. Totally acceptable literary device.

Interview with a Librarian

2008-04-07T18:46:00.000-07:00

1. What is your name and job?

My name is Jessica Langlois, and I am a reference and young adult librarian in a public library.

2. What kind of training did you need to qualify for that position?

In most places, you need to have a Master of Library/Information Science (MLIS) in order to be a librarian.

3. Describe a typical day at work.

Ha! In a public library, that can vary widely from day to day. Most days, I spend a lot of time helping people use the the public-access computers, and I help patrons locate the books they need. I help middle and high school students find resources for papers, I help people find new fiction to read, I make displays, teach computer classes, buy the young adult books, do programming, post to the blogs, and I answer strange questions. And there are some days where all I do is refill the paper in the printer, explain that no, I will not unblock that porn site, and hand over the latest Consumer Reports.

4. What's the best part of your job?

Nothing makes me happier than seeing a patron leave HAPPY because I was able to find exactly what they needed. And I love teaching the computer sessions and the tech parts of my job.

5. What's the toughest?

Public libraries often have a number of "tough" patrons to deal with. Dealing with the severely mentally ill, people with behavior issues, and unattended children can sometimes take a toll - especially on those days where it seems that everyone has a major issue.

6. What are the biggest misconceptions about librarians?

That we're stodgy, boring, formal. New librarians are just as likely to have tattoos than wear buns in their hair (and some have both!). Many people don't know that being a librarian requires a graduate degree, and most people don't know that today's librarians are very tech-savvy.

7. What would you be doing if you weren't doing this?

I'd own a bakery and/or cafe; I love to bake, and almost went to culinary school.

8. How many jobs have you had in your life, and what were they?

I've been working since I was 13, so I've had a ton of jobs! Among other things (that I have blocked from my memory) I've been a babysitter, dishwasher, grill cook, dessert caterer, library page, ice-cream scooper, switchboard operator, customer service rep, waitress, retail store clerk, grant writer, horse care-taker, pet/house sitter, optician's apprentice, Americorps Volunteer, and the director of a non-profit adult literacy program (which prompted me to become a librarian).

Thanks, Jessica! If you want to know more about Jessica, visit her blog, The Cool Librarian.

Selling a million copies

2008-04-04T19:16:00.000-07:00

People who know little about the publishing industry imagine selling a million copies of a book is a big deal, but they are usually quite misinformed about how incredibly unusual this really is. The figures are in for 2007. How many books of the four million plus books in print last year achieved this? Forty-four.

That includes all categories. Nine novels: the last Harry Potter, A Thousand Splendid Suns, Playing for Pizza, Double Cross, The Choice, Lean Mean Thirteen, Plum Lovin, Eclipse and Book of the Dead. Seven nonfiction hardcover books, including The Secret, The Dangerous Book for Boys, and Deceptively Delicious (the book by Jerry Seinfield's wife -- now you can see why the author who thought she ripped her off was so upset.) It also includes eleven trade paperbacks, including The Kite Runner, Eat Pray Love, Love in the Time of Cholera (thank you, Oprah!) and The Road. The only kid's book (besides Harry Potter) to hit that mark was Philip Pullman's The Golden Compass.

The Secret was the second best selling book last year, after Harry Potter. (Thank you, Oprah, again!)

At least it wasn't first.

Have a great weekend. Check back on Monday for my interview with a librarian!

The Demise of the Tailor

2008-04-03T19:01:00.000-07:00

My posting urging everyone to take advantage of the skills of your local tailor made me think about the profession on the whole. It had seemed to me that tailors are part of an aging workforce that is not being replaced, like this recently retired Greek tailor trained in the old country.

I've done a little research and it turns out these impressions are quite correct. And no wonder, when this career site puts their average salary at $22,214.00.

There are some high end tailors left, of course, like this guy who blogs from London's Savile Row, who probably does well for himself, considering he makes suits for Prince Charles. However, most tailors in Savile Row are in their sixties, and since few young people in the UK care to enter the profession, there is an effort being made to go to China and train tailors there. That's good news, because it would be a shame for all this knowledge not be passed on.

Also in the good news department is the fact that crafting and sewing are hugely popular among the young in the U.S. (and probably elsewhere) right now, and these (mostly) women are knitting and sewing things on an unprecedented scale. You can buy their creations at etsy, on the cheap. That still doesn't explain where I'm getting my pants hemmed in twenty years, though.

The Portfolio Incident

2008-04-02T19:30:00.000-07:00

This bad interview story comes to Workin' It from Derek, a fan of the blog, and by coincidence, my boyfriend. Hopefully, it will inspire others among you to send in your bad interview stories.

Enjoy:

In the mid 1990s, I was working as an animator at a big videogame company and was looking to move into the movie industry. I was excited to get an interview at a fairly well-known studio that had both a games division and a special effects division. I figured I would get in with my games experience, wow my coworkers with my determination, talent and/or charm, then as word of my prowess spread I would simply be asked to join the effects team.

I spent the morning in my small one-bedroom in Venice going over my portfolio, which consisted of a sampling of life drawings, illustrations, a video of my student film, and some computer discs with animation samples. Once the configuration of all these items within the portfolio seemed aesthetically pleasing, I carefully placed my resume and cover letter inside so that when the portfolio was opened, they would be face up and center.

Upon arrival at the studio I was greeted at the front desk by Greg, an amiable producer. We walked through the facility, which was very open and high-ceilinged with polished concrete floors and large art structures everywhere. I was getting very excited about the possibility of working at this place, it seemed exceedingly cool, WAY cooler than the yawn factory where my artistic potential was currently fizzling.

As we entered a meeting room and sat across from each other at the middle of a long conference table, I was slightly troubled by the fact that no other artists from the team would be joining us. Producers aren’t usually there to assess the quality of work of any given artist, but to make sure that the person seems to have at least a base level of competence and is also not a horse’s ass. Our meeting was nothing more than a formal dropping off of the portfolio, which would later be reviewed in a cold and impersonal forum by moderately disinterested artists. The only thing left for me to do was leave Greg with a good impression. I talked myself up a bit, and Greg eventually asked for my resume for his files, a sign that the interview was effectively over. I placed the portfolio between us on the table, unzipped it, and laid it open like a giant book. As planned, perfectly center, sat my crisp, white cover letter. Sitting dead center atop the rectangular plain of white paper, equidistant between Greg and I, was a jet-black pubic hair.

I quickly looked up to see if he was staring at the wiry culprit with the same growing horror that I was feeling. His eyes were already locked on mine. He’d seen it; he’d just reacted faster than me. Greg had been talking throughout this stunning reveal, and, to his credit, continued his sentence unbroken as we both stared at each other, trying to get a read on what the next step was. Since neither of us looked away for what was approaching an abnormal amount of time for most conversations, I figured the plan was to not formally recognize the existence of the pubic hair. Priority one was for neither of us to actually look at the pubic hair again. Eyes locked on each other’s faces was the safest bet.

Eventually, though, Greg had to pick up the cover letter. As he moved his hand gingerly toward the paper, it was no longer possible to avert our eyes, and the thought of the hair sliding off the paper as we watched was hard to mentally prepare for. Greg must’ve felt the same, because when he did eventually pick up the cover letter, he gripped it so that it stayed stiff, holding the hair in place like a mint on a tray.

I busied myself by closing up my portfolio, and when I looked back at Greg he held my resume by his side. The offending hair had fallen to the floor.

No, I did not get this job. That may seem obvious, but it might not have had to end in failure. When I told an architect friend the story, he nodded knowingly. “Never pack your portfolio on your bed, man! The same thing happened to me, I opened it up and there was a pube sitting on the top drawing. The other dude looked at me and I laughed and said ‘Whoops!’ and blew it off. We both thought it was hilarious!”

And yes, he got the job.

Never pack your portfolio on your bed, man.

Enviro Tip

2008-04-01T22:23:00.000-07:00

While I am making a concerted effort to stay more or less on topic here on this blog, you, oh blog reader, will have to put up with an occasional environmentally-themed posting. As some of you may know I also maintain an environmental website, Stuff Ya Don't Want, which lists various unwanted items and suggests what you can do with them to keep them out of the landfill, so you know I take an interest in these things.

Today, I am here to urge the environmentally-conscious and thrifty among you to go visit your local tailor! The best way to help the environment is to take good care of the items you have so you are not constantly replacing them and using unnecessary resources. To that end, when I have pants that need a new hem, a torn lining, or a tragically lost button, I hand my damaged goods over the professionals. If your town or city is anything like mine, it is chock full of sixtysomething immigrants with old world skills who can sew on a button in matching thread faster than you can say 'global warming.' And what people don't seem to get is, it's dead cheap to get it done.

Over the weekend I picked up a pair of newly hemmed pants as well as a shirt with a brand new buttonhole -- that's right, my tailor sewed me not a new button but made a new buttonhole, and she did it by hand to boot -- all for a grand total of six bucks. And people, it's not like I live in some depressed mining town where labor is cheap; I live in swanky Santa Monica, California.

Take advantage of this great resource while you can, because I worry that these aging craftspeople will not be replaced once they retire.

And, yes, for those of you aghast at my orange and yellow retro shirt -- I really do wear it, and it looks fabulous!

Celebrity Children's Books

2008-04-01T19:25:00.000-07:00

While the world played pile on Heather Mills, I held back. Sure, she got a big divorce settlement from Paul McCartney, and I guess you could argue she didn't deserve it, but what did I care? Relative to his total income it wasn't that big a chunk. Yes, she was reported to have dumped a glass of water on to McCartney's lawyer while in court, but maybe she was driven to it. I didn't pretend to understand the complexities of the situation.

But now she's gone too far. Now, the rumor mill goes, she is writing a children's book -- maybe even a series.

In the past fifteen years, many celebrities have decided they, too, possess the skills required to write books for children. Anyone not following this longstanding trend closely has doubtless missed the extent of celebrity inroads into publishing. Maybe you've heard about Madonna's books, or Jerry Seinfeld's. How about Katie Couric's, Larry King's, Spike Lee's, and Maria's Shriver's? John Travolta's and Bette Midler's? The fact is, celebrity kids books are no longer a trend but a staple of kid's publishing. And it drives noncelebrity childrens's writers mad.

Why? Because celebrities command huge advances, take up spots on publishers' lists, and in almost every case are simply not up to the standards of other published books. In a blind submission process, almost all these books would have been rejected. Noncelebrity children's writers are obliged to study the market and follow the rules -- don't rhyme unless you really have a knack for it, don't choose teaching a lesson over telling a story, don't talk down to kids. Celebrities operate under no such restrictions.

I don't want to single out any particular celebrity for criticism, and it must be said that a small percentage of these books are actually well-written. Jamie Lee Curtis is generally accepted to be a genuinely talented writer, as is John Lithgow. I'm sure there are others. The fact is, though, publishers buy books from celebrities because they are celebrities, and because they know consumers will buy these books when they see their names on the cover. Whether or not they're any good is a secondary consideration. That's life, that's business, that's how capitalism works. Whatever. But if the plumbing profession suddenly becomes all the rage among the celebrity elite, and you call Madonna in to fix your toilet and she floods out your bathroom -- then the joke's on you.

Interview with an Airline Pilot

2008-03-31T18:04:00.000-07:00

1. What is your name and profession?
Jeff Frabell. First Officer (pilot) for a regional airline.

2. What training did you have to undergo to get this job?
I have a four-year degree from Bowling Green State University as well as four pilot certification courses. I also did three flight instructor certifications and worked for two years as a flight instructor.

3. You note on your blog that you make $18,000/year. Is that for a full -time job? What is the range of pay for pilots and first officers?
Airlines spend a great deal of money training their new hires. As a rule, first-year pay is well below that of later years so the airline makes some of their training money back. Regional airlines pay around $18,000 to $24,000 the first year, with second-year pay ranging from about $23,000 to $38,000. All of these figures are for full-time work. The saving grace of regional airlines today is that when you become captain, which happens fairly quickly, your pay increases to the $50,000 to $60,000 range.

4. What's the most dangerous situation you've been in during a flight?

Aviation is safer than most people assume. The most dangerous thing I do on most days is get into a hotel van. That being said, I had a flight where the weather at our destination as well as our alternate airport was not up to our usual landing standards. The captain and I were seriously concerned about our fuel situation while figuring out what to do. That night could be a long story, but I'll just tell you we ended up landing at our original destination about fifteen minutes behind schedule.

5. What are the biggest misconceptions about being a pilot?

Probably the biggest misconception is that it is a glamorous job. Spending one night in Cleveland, one night in Oklahoma City, and another night in Charleston sounds exotic. In reality, some crews don't even leave the hotel. Those that do usually get dinner and maybe a drink (if we have the required twelve hours before our next assignment). We don't typically take in the culture. Ninety percent of our job is killing time.

6. What's the best thing about your job?

The people I work with make coming to work fun, in spite of some harsh circumstances. Also, when the schedule is created properly you can't beat the time off. A senior pilot can get eighteen days off per month. I currently get between ten and thirteen days off every month.

7. What is the biggest drawback?

The biggest drawback is the amount of time I have to spend away from my family. Twelve days off every month may sound nice to those who work nine to five Monday through Friday and typically get eight days off in that period, but they are forgetting that they get to go home every night. During the eighteen days that I'm working, I am gone twenty-four hours a day. That gets hard.

8. How many jobs have you had over the course of your lifetime?

I have worked too many jobs to count. I have bartended, delivered pizza, tossed boxes at UPS, and run a small Web site for a newspaper. I also worked at McDonald's, as an aircraft dispatcher, flight instructor and have worked as both a Marine and a member of the Air National Guard -- just to name a few of my past jobs.

Nice list! Even I'm impressed.

If you want to learn more about Jeff, check out his First Officer's blog. That's where I found him.

Workin' It internationally, with Kiva

2008-03-28T18:07:00.000-07:00

The concept of microfinance is sweeping the world. Bangladeshi economist Muhammed Yunus, through his Grameen Bank, kicked off the trend by making loans as small as $20.00 to people who could not qualify for traditional loans. In 2006, Yunus and the bank won the Nobel Peace Prize for these efforts. Now Kiva.org has made it possible for regular folks to get in on the action.

Low income entrepreneurs in developing nations have very little access to capital and often a loan of a few hundred dollars is enough for them to begin a new business or expand an existing one. Through Kiva I loaned $50 to Asli Gasimova in Azerbaijan (pictured here), so she could increase the inventory in her market. She's already well on her way to paying me back, as are my other loan recipients, including a carpenter in Iraq who has already paid me back in full -- and that can't have been easy.

I recently heard Yunus speak and he mentioned that some people questioned his focus on entrepreneurship, but he maintains that anyone can be an entrepreneur. Grameen Bank has a program specifically to loan tiny amounts of money to beggars, who use the money to buy trinkets that they sell when they go begging. Apparently, it's been very successful.

There is no guarantee that you'll get your money back if you loan it, although your odds are way better than in any other existing loan market: the repayment rate is above 95%. I think ultimately interest will have to be paid for this trend to sustain itself. But for now, the great feeling of helping someone out goes a long way.

Sorry that sounds so much like a press release for Kiva, but I really am a big fan. Let me know if I've convinced you to sign up.

Monday: an interview with an airline pilot!

Why I Don't Blog About My Current Job

2008-03-27T18:40:00.000-07:00

While it would seem an obvious choice for a blog called Workin' It to focus on my current job, there is a good reason why I will rarely mention it, except in passing: employers don't like it when you blog about your job. Fortune named being fired for blogging the #1 tech trend of 2005.

Being fired for blogging is also known as getting "dooced*," courtesy of Heather Armstrong's blog-related canning. This IT guy suffered the same fate. A flight attendant billing herself Queen of the Sky was let go for posting pics of herself in her uniform on her blog that her employer, Delta, found too risque. Editor Jason Pinter got the axe for what I'm sure he imagined was a perfectly innocuous post related to his employer, Crown Books.

While those three were questionable cases, even more disturbing is the case of a CNN producer being fired a month ago for blogging, when he didn't even blog directly about his job. A scant month ago a CNN producer claims he was fired for writing about pop culture and the media in general.

The fact is, people who blog or use social networking sites have to assume that anyone can run across this information, and, as is stands, it may be used against you in a professional setting. And that doesn't just mean for the job you have, but for the job you might get. I read a survey of HR professionals who indicated that 3 percent of them said they read job candidates' blogs before deciding to hire them.

Fellow bloggers, be careful out there.

*In case you don't follow the link, her blog is/was called "dooce," hence the term.

Let's Crunch the Numbers

2008-03-26T20:22:00.000-07:00

This is a new feature where we use math and learn about the economics of publishing at the same time -- all while invoking one of today's popular catchphrases!

Workin' It noted last week that the writer of Stuff White People Like received a $350,000 advance from Random House for a book based on the blog. You might ask yourself: is this money well spent? Let's do some very rough number crunching to see what it would take for this book to "earn out," as they say.

An advance, for those of you who don't know, means an advance against royalties. Any decent or mid-sized book publisher will provide its authors advances based on the projected earnings of the book. After enough books have been purchased to cover this money, the author then earns additional royalties. Most books never earn out their advance (I think -- I'll have to look into that for you.)

Let's assume this is a trade paperback deal and the paperbacks will sell for $15.00. Let's further assume the author is receiving a 10% royalty on the book. That means for every book sold, the author will earn $1.50. To earn that $350,000 in royalties, he'll have to sell about 233,000 books.

Are you, U.S. residents, prepared to buy that many books based on this trendy blog? Personally, I'm skeptical, and I doubt this thing has any foreign sales potential.

I think that the time is going to come, and soon, when publishers realize that some blogs work perfectly as blogs and not so well as books. Who knows, though. This could be one of those bathroom books that sells a million copies.

Plus:

For those of you interested in the story behind my creepy interview, my good friend Anonymous has posted a link to a New York Times story about the incident. Nice p.i. work there.

Interview Poll Results and creepiest interview story

2008-03-25T18:38:00.000-07:00

The majority of poll takers guessed that the job I didn't get among the interviews I mentioned was the one in which my interviewer asked me questions printed off a website and then brushed me off on my followup call. This is an excellent guess, and one I might have made myself did I not have the most inside of scoops. The correct answer was actually choice #2, the interview in which I was not asked a single question.

I realized over the weekend I forgot to mention a definitively bad interview I had circa 1990 in New York. I answered an ad for a photography assistant in the Village Voice, and went for an interview in the West Village. It was in a large apartment and I was greeted by several young girls, probably teenagers, as I waited to meet with the photographer who would interview me. I immediately got a very creepy vibe and it was clear something was way off. The photographer came out from the back and brought me into the kitchen. He was tall and lanky, though I can't remember his face. I handed him my resume which he didn't even look at, and he basically offered to provide me with pictures for my modeling portfolio in exchange for doing some assistant work. Since I was interested only in an actual job I left, confused and weirded out.

Some time after that I passed a newsstand and saw the guy's picture on the cover. He was all over the tabloids because he'd been murdered by the boyfriend of a would-be model. It turned out he was a serial rapist. At one time he'd been a respected fashion photographer but he'd been blackballed by all the big agencies because they knew what a scuzzball he was.

I tried to Google the story but I can't find it.

Interview with a matchmaker

2008-03-24T17:58:00.000-07:00

It's interview Monday. Today, our subject is Lisa Clampitt, who is both a professional matchmaker and the co-founder of The Matchmaking Institute.

1. Can you tell us a little about matchmaking as a profession? Do you need specialized training to become one, or is it an intuitive skill with some people?

Matchmaking is one of the most social, fun, and rewarding careers you could have. It is mysterious yet exciting. At every party, you are the belle of the ball; people always want to know what the life of a matchmaker is like. It combines a little dash of networking, a pinch of social work, and a whole cup of playing cupid. It is the perfect career - stimulating, never boring, and now, finally, recognized as a legitimate and respectable field.

I happen to have a master’s in social work which I find very handy in my matchmaking career. But for those who are not social workers, the Matchmaking Institute, a company that I co-founded, created a matchmaking certification to help prepare up-and-coming matchmakers with all the skills needed to be a successful matchmaker.

2. What are the advantages of working with a trained matchmaker over using Internet dating sites?

Online dating has been a wonderful way to gain access to other singles that you normally may not have access to. But there is also a lot of misinformation online. People often lie about their height, age, weight and marital status. The photos are often outdated. A matchmaker helps screen and qualify perspective matches that meet the specific requirements of someone looking to find love.

When working with a professional matchmaker you should expect to make some kind of meaningful connection within the first three or four introductions.

Benefits to using a professional matchmaker:

1. Privacy. Your matchmaker will not release your contact information or photo to anyone without your permission. By using a matchmaker, no one -- not your boss, your ex, or your family members -- will know you are looking for a mate unless you tell them.

2. Safety. Your matchmaker has spoken with, met and checked the references of everyone you are introduced to. Because of this, you can explore romance without fear or worry.

3. Personalized Service. Your matchmaker gets to know YOU and based on your unique personality, lifestyle, likes, dislikes and values, understands exactly who will be a suitable and rewarding match.

4. Efficiency. You don't have to spend countless hours browsing thousands of online profiles, writing dozens of introduction emails and spending the evening alone when a promising prospect doesn't show up for a date. Your matchmaker takes care of all the details and allows you to save your energy for the actual date.

3. Have you watched the Bravo show "Millionaire Matchmaker," and if so, would you say this is somewhat similar to how your business works?

The show gives an inside look at the life of a matchmaker and demystifies the process. Matchmaker's styles can be very different from each other but some of the process is the same. For instance, at my company, VIP Life, I have a bit of a softer approach and style. But I too have paying male clients and show pictures and profiles, prescreen female members that do not pay. Some matchmakers only match client to client and both parties pay. So styles and business models may very greatly from matchmaker to matchmaker but the depiction of the process is demonstrated well.

4. What would you say the main reason single people who are seeking partners are still single?

-They are workaholics
-They have limited access to potential partners
-They have unrealistic expectations
-They have a tendency to make unwise partner choices
-They usually choose unavailable partners
-They view potential partners through marriage eyes
-They are socially awkward or shy
-They find it hard to go on a date after a divorce
-They think that love is a little too complicated

5. What is your opinion on the idea of "settling," as put forth in the recent article by Lori Gottlieb in The Atlantic?

Life and love is not about settling. It is about learning that we are all human and we all have our walls that disconnect us from life and therefore create life long obstacle in finding love. Some of us have higher walls than others thus make finding love in the package we imagine it should come in nearly impossible.

It is only when we learn how to love ourselves and be easy on ourselves that we learn how to love and accept others with their pluses and minuses. We need the patience to enter someone else's world and get to know them, their dreams, vulnerabilities, and true self instead of seeing them through our eyes and judging them. By doing this we learn to accept others as we need to accept ourselves.

Love is not about initial passion, chemistry and compatibility of interests. It is about putting our walls down long enough to stand still, open our hearts and notice others. Once we stand still long enough, we then realize the world is filled with amazing matches that are there for the taking.

6. What drew you to the profession? Do you feel as if this is your calling?

I am one of those natural born matchmakers. I have always set up my friends and many are married with kids from my meddling. I am a true romantic and believe that people are meant to be together. It breaks my heart to see someone who is single if they don't want to be single. I was a social worker for twelve years before I became a matchmaker. So matchmaking is the fun side of social work.

7. How many jobs have you had total in your lifetime?

I was a social worker for twelve years and worked in several different agencies and hospitals including the famous Bellevue Hospital. I also had a small stint in the film industry working in the art department of several films including Pleasantville. I have been very lucky and have loved my work life. But matchmaking is my gem of careers.

Unpromising Interview Stories -- the poll!

2008-03-21T19:34:00.000-07:00

See if you can suss out which of the interviews I mentioned two posts ago, if any, did not result in a job. I'll let you know Monday, and I'll also be posting my interview with a professional matchmaker.

Have a great weekend!

Bad Interviews II

2008-03-21T19:25:00.000-07:00

There is a concern among those who make a study of such things that there is a serious problem among HR staff not being professional and turning off potential hires. Take the case of this woman seeking a job at non-profit in London:

“I had applied for a job with a small not-for-profit organisation in south London,” she said. “When I arrived, there were three people in the office and a dog. It wasn’t a big Rottweiler but size doesn’t matter when it comes to me and dogs — I’m terrified of them.”

And the kicker -- "when the actual interviewer came she brought...a second, bigger dog"

A recent poll about poorly conducted interviews had people claiming that 40% of bad interviewers asked questions that were unrelated to the job, 16% were sexist, 7% were racist, and 2% were flat out drunk.

I assume this means among interviews that were already bad, though this article is unclear. Nonetheless, the fact that this many drunken interviews go on is a surprise to me.

Unpromising Interview Stories

2008-03-20T17:58:00.000-07:00

You can probably guess that someone who's held as many jobs as I have is the veteran of even more interviews. I'm sure I've been interviewed for jobs at least a hundred times, and possibly many more times than that. So I'm going to share with you my three worst interviews of all time in descending order of crumminess:

3. During this dot com interview my interviewer read all her questions to me off a piece of paper in front of her that she'd obviously just printed off some website, which she read without making eye contact. Twenty minutes later I was back out on the street, and my one followup call to check on the position's status lasted all of fifteen seconds before I was brushed off.

2. I was interviewed for a production assistant job at a major film studio by three people at once. When we were all seated the main interviewer simply turned to me and said, "We don't really have any questions. Why don't you just tell us about yourself?"

1. While I was trying to convince a film director to hire me on the crew of his movie in New York in the summer of '89, I was so busy selling myself that I didn't notice that a bee had crawled on my hand -- until it promptly stung me.

Tomorrow, bad interview stuff that's not about me. Plus, if I can figure it out, a poll!

As always, if you have any bad interview stories you'd like to share, email me. I'd love to post them.

Insane Book Deal

2008-03-20T15:05:00.000-07:00

I'm throwing you a bonus post today to let everyone know that Stuff White People Like, a blog that has taken the Internet by storm in only a few months' time, has already garnered a book deal worth at least $350,000.

Of course, insane is not the right word. Let's call it what it is -- a significant deal! Maybe, as details emerge, it may even turn out to be a major deal.

Critique Groups

2008-03-19T18:30:00.000-07:00

I have participated in a number of critique groups over the years, and I can tell you that while criticizing someone's fiction can be daunting, criticizing someone's memoir is as awkward as it gets. "I know it must have been horrible for you to be abducted by your uncle," you might say to a vulnerable writer while chewing on the end of your pencil, "but I found my mind wandering during chapter two. Do you think you could take the part where he pimps you out, and, you know, punch it up a little?"

I was in a non-fiction critique group a few weeks back and witnessed a typical exchange, which I will alter slightly to protect the parties involved. A young guy passed out a short chapter of his ongoing memoir of his relationship with his fiance, which apparently the group had already read quite a lot of. It was about a night out they had when she lashed out at him and the fallout that followed.

"So," said one of the women in the group, "I guess I'm not getting what's really drawing you to this woman. Maybe you could show us more of her softer side?"

"You didn't read the other chapters," the writer said defensively. He looked around at the group. "We traveled through the Amazon and had a great time. Perry," he said to one of the other group members. "Perry, you remember. She's cool, right?"

Perry shrugs. "She used to be cool," he mutters under his breath.

If you have an interview story or Antioch co-op story that you want to share, write it up and send it to me and I'll post it here! I'm also looking for more people to interview about their jobs, so if you've got an interesting job and you're game, drop me a line!

Good deal!

2008-03-18T19:06:00.000-07:00

Every industry has its insider terms, and one such category of terms is the way Publisher's Weekly describes book deals. An outsider may think terms like "good deal" and "nice deal" are vague. In the publishing world, they correlate to very specific monetary amounts. Here is the basic key:

Nice deal - $1 - $49,000
Very nice deal - $50,000 - $99,000
Good deal - $100,000 - $250,000
Significant Deal - $251,000 - $499,000
Major Deal - $500,000 and up

It's hard not to see the humor in these pointless euphemisms, left over from when publishing was still a gentlemen's profession, perhaps. But what's way funnier is the further breakdown of the nice/very nice deals by John Scalzi, who points out that since the vast majority of writers will never see a six-figure deal, the key needed further honing, and thus offers up a far more detailed and realistic key that includes a phrase never to be seen in Publisher's Weekly -- a shitty deal. "Because that's what it is, my friends. Possibly the only thing worse than a shitty deal is no deal at all. Possibly."

This blog's first interview, with animator Josh Scherr!

2008-03-17T19:28:00.000-07:00

I hope you're as excited as I am about this blog's first interview in what I hope will be an ongoing series. If you have any additional questions for Josh, leave them in the comments and I'll see if I can entice him to answer them!

1. Describe your job.

I work for a videogame company called Naughty Dog as the lead cinematics animator. This entails supervising and directing all of the “story” movies that play during the course of our game – most recently, that was “Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune.” Okay, no more shameless plugs. My day to day responsibilities varied through the course of the project, but they included collaborating with the creative director on the story and script writing, directing the animators, scene layout and camera blocking for the scenes, working on the motion capture shoots, being a coordinator, and with the very little time I have remaining, actually animating.

2. What are some of the job highlights?

Well, I love videogames – I think they have the potential to be one of the dominant art forms of this century – and just getting to work on them fulfills a childhood wish of mine. Naughty Dog also has a great, laid-back atmosphere with very little bureaucracy, middle management, or any of the usual impediments to getting stuff done. It’s a very collaborative, open environment. That, and I get to call all the time I spend playing games “research.”

3. What's the worst thing about your job?

The hours. No question. While our typical production workday usually runs about nine hours, during big deadline crunches it can get a little ridiculous. The last two months of “Uncharted,” I was at the office nearly every day for at least twelve hours. And that wasn’t even the worst crunch we’ve had. Still, as with any creative project, this kind of stuff is to be expected. One just hopes that you’re pulling these hours because you’re pushing the quality of the project, as opposed to just desperately trying to push something out the door.

4. How long have you had this job/worked in this industry?

I’ve been at Naughty Dog for a little over seven years. I’ve been working as an animator of some sort for over twelve years.

5. What would you be doing if you weren't doing this?

Teaching. I love teaching. I actually taught 3d software classes in the evening at CalArts for four spring semesters. I wish I was still doing it, but my schedule’s just gotten too full. And if I had unlimited cash, I’d be traveling all over the damn place. I never took a break from school to travel before jumping into this business, which I kind of regret.

6. Do you expect to continue doing this kind of work for the rest of your working life?

I imagine I’ll become a full-time teacher at some point in my life. I can’t imagine working at this pace when I’m fifty, but who knows?

7. How many jobs have you had in your life so far?

Let’s see... fourteen. But eleven of those were as an animator in the game/movie biz, and two of them were as summer camp counselors. I somehow managed to avoid working retail jobs. So I guess you could say that I’ve had three jobs: animator, teacher, and camp counselor. The latter is still one of the best jobs I’ve had, as it was at a summer camp for nerds – er – kids interested in computers. It combined my love for games, animation, and teaching.

Literary mags, part II

2008-03-14T18:58:00.000-07:00

If you're interested in sending out your short stories, essays, or poems, you can start off by buying the big, fat, expensive 2008 Writer's Market and looking under literary and "little" magazines. However, this is by no means a complete list of markets, and it's pretty hard for an outsider to suss out the relative merits of one publication over another. Generally speaking, the magazines that pay tend to be better than those that don't, if only because most writers are going to try there first, and thus they're going to get first pick of all the good stuff. This isn't universally true, though.

An excellent way for the new short form writer to figure out where to send things first -- because why not shoot high? -- is to see which publications regularly get their pieces into either Best American Short Stories (you can tell from just looking at the front of the book where the stories were originally published) or Best American Essays. Even more relevant for most of us is the generally more accessible, more readable, and more fun Pushcart Prize. This guy went to the trouble of analyzing what publications got the most short stories in this prestigious annual publication, so that's a good source of info as well.

A note on online lit mags: the line between print and online mags is starting to blur as many beloved old literary magazines go online as well as producing a print version. I am no expert, but it seems that the mags which are exclusively online are much less likely to be affiliated with a university, and tend to be more seat-of-your-pants operations. They tend to like less traditional work, and length is more of an issue -- 1,000 to 2,000 words seems to be preferred. If you're looking to submit to online journals, I would start with this list.

Have a nice weekend. On Monday, Workin' It will post its first interview!

Literary Magazines, a primer

2008-03-13T17:58:00.000-07:00

I have published two of my job essays and, previously, a handful of short stories with literary magazines. Only other writers generally have any idea what these even are, except for the occasional super literate type who happens to subscribe to the Paris Review or McSweeney's just because they're a good read, so I thought I'd lay out for you just what this category is all about.

Literary magazines are traditionally affiliated with universities who financially support them. They vary in content, though they tend to be high-minded and literate, and thus not a good outlet for your thinly-disguised autobiographical erotica or your series of rhyming poems about your beloved pet ferret. They rarely turn a profit, and will sometimes print as few as 1,000 copies of an issue. Nonetheless, they represent one of the few options available to short story writers who can't get into the New Yorker or Harper's annual fiction issue (as well as essayists) and are very difficult to get into. The more prestigious they are, obviously the harder they are to get in to. It is not unusual for them to pay in copies (and not too many of them) which is why it is generally more appropriate to say you've "placed" a story than "sold" one.

One of my 60+ jobs, in fact, was as an intern for The Antioch Review, which is associated with my alma mater, Antioch College. I was very excited to get the job though I quickly realized that sorting through the slushpile was not quite the fun romp I imagined it would be. Not that anyone cared what I thought about any submissions, since everything I read, whatever I said about it, would be read by someone else just to make sure I didn't make a huge mistake. I spent most of my time sending out rejection slips, which even then I felt bad about.

Tomorrow: lit mags part two, including online mags

Brush with celebrity, plus blog news!

2008-03-12T20:55:00.000-07:00

I'm very pleased to announce that I have secured interviews with two people about their jobs. Both animator Josh Scherr and professional matchmaker Lisa Clampitt have graciously agreed to answer some questions about their work lives for the edification of all you blog readers out there. I have submitted my questions to them and eagerly await their responses. If all goes well, this will become a weekly Workin' It feature.

I found Lisa through her Matchmaking Institute web site, and I located Naughty Dog's Josh on my couch watching the finale of the Wire. Of course, he couldn't very well refuse, since I'd just bought him pizza.

In other news I signed the paperwork for the publication of the second essay in my series, The Best I've Worked With, about my days as a typist on an Internet celebrity chat show. I have Edward James Olmos to thank for the title.

Anyone have any autographs to beat this one? Bring it on.

Stuff I'm Interested In

2008-03-11T19:10:00.000-07:00

Extrapolating from the limited data we have available on my blogging habits, it looks like readers are going to have to contend with about 60% job related posts, 20% writing related posts, and 20% of posts about crap I happen to, for reasons unknown, find interesting. Today's subject: supercentarians. That is, people who are 110 or older.

I have a soft spot for old people, even regular old types in their 80s and 90s. The older the better, as far as I'm concerned. So I hope for nothing more than the emergence of decent paperwork supporting the claims of possibly 128-year-old Elizabeth (Ma Pampo) Israel or maybe 120-year-old Mariam Amash. I would love to shoot the breeze with Arbella Ewing who was born in 1894 and looks pretty damn good.

I'm going to take it pretty hard when the last of people born in the 19th century die out, and it's not going to be that much longer. It blows my mind that someone born in 1889 might have an opinion on say, Britney Spears. This now deceased Ecuador 116-year-old "disliked the fact that presently it's acceptable for women to pursue men."

Medical Testing for $$$$$

2008-03-10T18:19:00.000-07:00

Even those of you who are familiar with McSweeney's journal and related hipster events may not know they sometimes interview people with unusual jobs on their web site, like some guy who supports himself through participating in pharmaceutical testing. I've never seriously considered doing that, being on the squeamish side, but I've known two people who've done medical studies for money. The first participated in a sleep study which required her to stay in a room for 3-4 weeks while under constant monitoring, including blood samples. The other person was in an even more confining situation -- forced to lay in a hammock for a week or so to see what effect it had on his mobility when he finally got up. I think it was NASA-related.

If you're in California you can visit this site to sign up.

The guy in the interview says craiglist's etc category is where he finds most of his gigs. I just found this one that pays $6,000, and I can only imagine must be highly unpleasant to command such a large figure.

Has anyone ever done one of these?

Settling, the followup, plus more controversy!

2008-03-08T21:59:00.000-08:00

My post on the two controversial articles, including the "settling" one, generated a fair amount of responses. It seems many women don't agree with Gottlieb's premise to be open-minded about life partners to the point where they consider guys who might be gay or physically repulsive to them. A blog reader sent me the following links of blog posts that refute the article, in case you're interested:

Feministing

Pandagon

Since that generated so much action, I'm throwing out something else that I bet some of you will have an opinion on. This chart compares the average SAT scores of certain colleges with the favorite books of students there, culled from Facebook stats. Snotty? Meaningless? Inaccurate? Probably all three. But check it out, anyway. Thanks for the link, Moira!

Whoever picked Hamlet as their favorite, by the way --- call me skeptical. At least the people who picked The Devil Wears Prada and He's Just Not That Into You were just being honest.

Tomorrow, more job stuff.

Back to the topic at hand

2008-03-07T19:11:00.000-08:00

with this link to New York Hack, which is a good blog (though now somewhat defunct) by a female New York cabdriver. Plaut's blog got a lot of attention at one point and I think it got her a book deal, although I'm not sure how well the book turned out. It seems like it would be hard to sustain a narrative from a series of cab rides, but maybe that's not the point of it, anyway.

In any case, it's a shame she's not really updating it anymore because her blog was a great source of insider info when anything cab related went down. Also, she occasionally has famous people in her taxi.

I find cabdriving interesting as a potential job because while it's obviously grueling and hard, it is something that you can do without having years of experience or specialized training. If I didn't have such a bad sense of direction I'd think of it as a possible backup.

Have a great weekend.

Controversial Essays

2008-03-06T18:35:00.000-08:00

I have read several essays in the last month written by authors who throw out a pretty controversial theme -- women should settle for someone before it's too late AND women, why so dumb? -- and it makes me think that if you want an essay published it's best just to pick a shocking topic and ride it all the way to the ground. It's not quite fair to lump Lori Gottlieb's article in with Charlotte Allen's, as Gottlieb picks a topic that could possibly be discussed reasonably in a sort of who-cares-if-he's-short-give-him-a-chance kind of way, although she lost me (and pissed me off) when she addressed unmarried 30-year-old women this way:

"...if you say you're not worried, either you're in denial or you're lying. In fact, take a good look in the mirror and try to convince yourself that you're not worried, because you'll see how silly your face looks when you're being disengenuous."

I mean, come on. The agony of those 30-year-old olds. How can they face the agony of their spinsterhood? Sorry you wish you married some bald guy when you were 28, Lori, but don't take your disappointment out on the rest of us.

And that was in the fourth paragraph.

On the other hand, the plainly misogynist views of Allen are so absurd -- women faint when they see Obama! They like Oprah! They can't drive! -- that they're not even worth addressing. Her article literally concludes with the suggestion that women focus on family and home and shake off our uppity ideas and "then we could shriek and swoon and gossip and read chick lit to our hearts' content and not mind the fact that way down deep, we are...kind of dim." Hey, I don't like Grey's Anatomy either, but I don't assume that everyone who watches it is incapable of operating a motor vehicle.

Maybe it's some sort of reverse psychology thing where she thought "I know, I'll write this convoluted, illogical and poorly-thought out essay to prove how dumb I am, and thus how dopey all women are. I'll bring down my entire gender from the inside."

Dastardly.

Professional poker playing

2008-03-05T18:24:00.001-08:00

Obviously, poker has become extremely popular in the past few years and is now a ubiquitous facet of cable TV. As someone who is a huge fan of the game and who has logged many hours playing live and online, I know something you may not: most poker professionals are not people like Phil Ivey and Daniel Negreanu, who play in huge televised and tournaments and often end up at final tables. Most professional poker players are eking out a living playing multiple games at once at low buy ins. These largely unknown pros will typically play 16 games at a time, some many more than that, in a largely automated way, sometimes with a TV blaring in the background. Most of them probably make less than you do.

As someone who profitably plays $5 tournaments on PokerStars, I have toyed with the idea of trying to make more money by upping my buy-ins and investing more time in learning about the game. Honestly, though, I could never do it full-time even if I had the skill. I think I would find it too socially isolating and boring.

Still, it wouldn't be a bad part-time option during a transitional period. I made a hundred bucks or so during my two sick days. And it felt pretty good. It beats being a mechanical turk.

Lies and more lies

2008-03-04T13:34:00.000-08:00

Another bad week for the memoir. It turns out Love and Consequences, the story of a girl growing up in South Los Angeles as a foster child among gangbangers, is completely false. The author, Margaret Seltzer (writing as Margaret B. Jones), actually grew up in Sherman Oaks -- a suburb which, as L.A. residents know, hardly represents the apex of human suffering. This on the heels of the uproar only a week ago of the well-received, internationally popular, and now debunked tale of a young Jewish girl's struggle to survive in Nazi dominated Europe, taking refuge with wolves on her 3,000 mile trek from Belgium to the Ukraine. Turns out two people who were contacted to initially blurb the book warned the publishers it was probably false. The author, now 71, isn't even Jewish.

I could say something obvious about why this is wrong, but instead I'll cover a few salient points here that I haven't seen brought up before. When you read a memoir, you're reading it, in part, because you think it's true, and you are prepared to cut the writer a lot of slack as a writer because you think you're learning something about the world you didn't know before. If I write a book about my crazy weekend hurtling through the S & M scene in Dubuque, Iowa with Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama in tow, you're not going to read it because you're impressed with my use of metaphor and unparalleled ability with sentence construction. If it turns out I made the whole thing up (wouldn't you like to know) you're left, as a reader, with nothing. It's like finding out brussel sprouts have no nutritional value. I mean, what was the point, then? (Actually, I like brussel sprouts, but you get my point.)

Also, for the love of God, if you're going to make up a story about your life it's a good first step to make up a pen name, but I've got news for you: when your sister sees your picture in the New York Times and the caption gives you a fake last name, she's still going to know who you are. Unless you have had massive reconstructive surgery and you are a friendless orphan whose relatives are all living off the grid and do not have access to a phone, you have to limit your fake memoirs to something that they can't prove one way or the other. Preferably something that happened over a few weeks in a remote country, or a long weekend in your own. Throw in an unnamed A-list celebrity and Hunter S. Thompson style drug binge, and you've got yourself a tidy five figure deal.

Fired!

2008-03-04T12:30:00.000-08:00

I've stumbled across a few references to this book: Fired! Tales of the Canned, Canceled, Downsized & Dismissed but I'm not sure how interested I am. All the contributors appear to be known actors, like Felicity Huffman and Bob Saget. I mean, maybe it's about Bob's high school job at Burger King where he got canned because he refused to wear the hair net or something, but I kind of doubt it. I've been enjoying reading the comments section, though, and I guess the author solicits firing stories at her website.

Personally, I've been both fired and downsized, and covered the in-between areas as well. I had dinner with a friend of mine a few months ago and asked about his sister, and he told me how at one point she showed up to work and the doors were simply locked and nobody was there. I'm sure many people would find this shocking, but I'm a terrible audience for this anecdote, because that kind of thing has happened to me half a dozen times. I was once fired from a job in L.A. by someone I'd never met in New York over a speakerphone. And you know what I did when I got back to my desk? Started calling around to see if anyone had any leads for another job.

By the way, I am still home sick, and even though we finally got cable a few months ago, something you really appreciate when you're a prisoner in your home, it doesn't solve all your entertainment problems. It's a lot better than when I was home sick with the flu a few years ago and I was so exhausted I didn't even have the energy to watch TV. I just sat on the couch and stared straight ahead, hoping for the apocalypse.

so it begins

2008-03-03T17:24:00.000-08:00

Hi!

I have held over sixty jobs, from circus usher to casino banker to celebrity chat typist. As I write this I am home sick (yes, I really am sick) from my current job as a video editor for a large charitable foundation.

I started this blog to talk about the concept of working for a living, and to promote my series of essays on some of my more colorful gigs. We'll see how it works out. We all know how blogs on a certain topic can devolve after a while into little more than pictures of cute animals and links to youtube. I make no promises.

I'll start with this: I got my teeth cleaned a few weeks back and asked my dentist why she was cleaning my teeth, when I thought hygienists usually do that. She told me that hygienists in L.A. start at around $500/day, and were hard to get at that price. Let's all say it together: if things get rough, I'm going to dental hygienist school.